When the news began to appear of Howard Stern’s departure from Sirius XM began appearing in an uncomfortably frequent series of alerts earlier this week, I knew darn well this was going to become yet another partially snuffed out blunt on the dumpster fire of cultural discourse. The always reliable and truth-telling U.S. SUN and its apparent Pulitzer Prize candidate Jessica Finn enthusiastically took credit for breaking the story:
THE ICONIC Howard Stern Show on SiriusXM is set to be canceled after a stunning 20-year run, sources exclusively told The U.S. Sun. Stern, 71, who has had a mega-bucks contract for decades at the subscription satellite radio provider, will likely cut some sort of deal for Sirius to keep his catalogue upon his exit, sources said. “Stern’s contract is up in the fall and while Sirius is planning to make him an offer, they don’t intend for him to take it,” one insider said of the impending end to the shock jock’s latest five-year contract. “Sirius and Stern are never going to meet on the money he is going to want. It’s no longer worth the investment.” The insider added that fans may expect Sirius to strike a deal for his library. “But as far as him coming back to doing the show, there’s no way they can keep paying his salary,” the source said.
Another source said Stern’s political leanings are also not working in his favor. “If Sirius isn’t going to give Stern a good offer, I don’t think it would have anything to do with his ratings,” the source claimed. “It’s more likely everything to do with the political climate.”
And sure enough, the lead protoganist in these needless distractions picked up that second source ball just like a rabid dog would out of said burning dumpster. And he did so with the help of someone who certainly knows the kind of bitch that would keep that sort of company. Per DEADLINE’s Ted Johnson:
Donald Trump took some credit for another media figure’s departure from the airwaves — even though, in the case of Howard Stern, neither he nor SiriusXM has confirmed that he’s about to exit. Trump was asked by a reporter, Brian Glenn of Real America’s Voice, about the report as if it had been confirmed. “Howard Stern announced that he and SiriusXM Radio are parting ways. Do you think that the hate Trump business model that has been in the business is going out of business because it’s not popular with the American people?”
THE DAILY BEAST’s Cameron Adams supplied some follow-up dialogue:
Trump used the opportunity to fire off a catty remark towards Stern. “Uh Howard Stern… it’s a name I haven’t heard… I used to do his show, used to have fun, but I haven’t heard that name in a long time. What happened? He got terminated?” Trump retorted, “You know when he went down?” He added, “Before… when he endorsed Hillary Clinton, he lost his audience. People said, ‘Give me a break.’ He went down when he endorsed Hillary Clinton.”
Considering that Glenn is the very same toady that apparently does just that on Marjorie Taylor Greene every night, that particular choice of words was not just catty, it was a dog whistle.
But as Johnson tersely recapped: …Stern has not announced his departure.
And as ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY’s Raechal Shewfelt added, we heard the actual story straight from the horse (face)’s mouth:
A day after a report claimed that his long-running The Howard Stern Show would be cancelled when his contract with SiriusXM ends later this year, he popped up to do an unscheduled show when a repeat would have aired. The timing appeared to be pure coincidence for Stern, who had been on his summer break since June and was expected to resume hosting new episodes of his show next month. He was joined on air by Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich. Ulrich and Stern also announced SiriusXM’s new Maximum Metallica channel (42), set to debut Aug. 29.
An on-air personality about to be canned for “political reasons” doesn’t come out of a summer sabbatical to stunt promote for his employer. Heck, Stephen Colbert hasn’t even appeared in a spot touting CBS PREMIERE WEEK events, and to give you an idea of where their priorities are one literally can’t go a single ad break without at least one spot for all that’s occuring that second week of October.
If Glenn had actual reporter skills, maybe he might have stumbled upon this HOLLYWOOD REPORTER piece from Caitlin Hudson that dropped last week in between tantric sex sessions with his babe that she likely learned while having a torrid and quite public affair with perhaps the most popular guru of such art to set foot in the Atlanta suburbs:
SiriusXM reported 33 million paid subscribers in the second quarter of 2025, a decrease of approximately 68,000 from the previous quarter. However, the audio giant pointed to this as an improvement after losing 100,000 paid subscribers in the same period last year, and noted its fifth quarter of subscriber improvement, which it attributed to “meaningful improvements in new acquisition programs,” as well as low churn. The company highlights the performance of podcasts, which saw revenue up close to 50 percent compared to the same period last year. SiriusXM said the performance was due to “expanded video and social monetization,” in addition to new talent additions such as Trevor Noah, who signed a multiyear deal to launch a new podcast.
If these MAGA mental midgets are perhaps looking for a smoking gun, they might want to consider that it’s the evolution and pivoting of listenership to podcasts that could be the reason that a day-and-date driven personality like Stern is becoming less economically viable than he was when he literally kickstarted the satellite radio industry when he moved from terrestrial syndication nearly 20 years ago. For roughly the same length of time before that, he pioneered and amplified that particular aspect of the business by using satellite capabilities and his new morning time slot on New York’s WXRK to such theretofore uncharted waters such as 3-7 AM in Los Angeles, where yours truly rekindled the relationship he developed with him as an afternoon drive time staple on the late and lamented W-ENNNNNNNNNN-BC!!! There is no Rush Limbaugh EIB Network without Stern’s success.
At the time of his Sirius move, his $500 million salary was eyebrow-raising but with the faith of his one-time CBS Radio boss Mel Karmazin he almost single handedly created the model that artists and personalities that have followed him have copied: bring a suite of related content and create channels for encore broadcasts. We now call those podcasts. Yep, there’s no Joe Rogan, Charlie Kirk or Ben Shapiro without Stern’s success.
And on a more personal note, Stern’s creative passion and immense popularity in New York helped FX finally get carriage in New York City proper when his otherwise forgettable (but, in hindsight, decently rated) comedy farce SON OF THE BEACH was its standbearer in the pre-“We Know Drama” days that helped it evolve from its lamentable low-rated first years into the destination it ultimately became. Stern tirelessly lobbied Time Warner Cable–with whom he had curried favor via the popular late-night video version of his daily show on E!–on our behalf. There’s no FX of consequence without Stern’s success.
And I have special affinity to that E! show if only because a number of my friends were both executives and even subjects of those episodes. That E! show–which actually delivered strong young adult demo ratings both nationally and locally–was the progenitor of the vodcast model that those above personalities are now creating their massive YouTube followings from. Yep, Stern pioneered that, too.
And one more thing, MAGA-ots: Contrary to the insistence of your fat farting Cyrus, Sirius doesn’t base their business model on ratings. When I was a finalist for their newly created head of research position shortly after Stern’s hiring allowed the platform to add someone I learned first-hand exactly what KPIs drive their business. I suppose your “sources” got into those inconsequential details?
If anything, Stern’s “descent” began long before any female Presidential candidate did his show. He connected with his audience because he was the embodiment of our ids–a hard-working family man constantly tempted by access to porn stars and largesse. Constantly fighting the FCC for the freedom to say those seven words you couldn’t say and then some. A rebel with a cause. When he made that move to Sirius and moved into billionaire status he divorced the wife he essentially paid homage to in his semi-autobiographical film PRIVATE PARTS and married a de facto model. He became a judge on AMERICA’S GOT TALENT. And yeah, when he couldn’t conquer his inner phobias to return his show to the studio setting that helped him establish his presence even when a majority of his listeners had gotten back to normal it likely didn’t help the appeal of his show. Even I wasn’t all that thrilled about that.
In all likelihood there will be some sort of a more formal announcement come Labor Day. I’m not going to argue that indeed his days with Sirius may be coming to an end. He’s a savvy enough businessman and student of media–not merely it’s one-time “King”–to know what’s what. But when he does exit I’m damn sure it’ll be on his terms and timetable. After all, he’s now a man in his seventies with a gorgeous wife and peace of mind. Ah, if only another one with the first two qualities could somehow find the third.
Until next time…