My roommate was literally over the moon about the spectacle that occupied Madison Square Garden on a rare day when the Knicks, Rangers or a concert wasn’t booked, one he claims he watched from end to end yesterday. He couldn’t stop raving about the energy, the love and the size of the crowd–perhaps because it one of the few rallies that the host has thrown that actually had sizable attendees and legitimate noise.
So in the spirit of trying to at least grasp why his happiness and gloating has reached a new peak even for him, I attempted to at least fast-forward through it. That’s the only reason I can grudgingly concede anything about crowd size, since I know that subject is one the host is clearly obsessed with (ask the family of Arnold Palmer).
But when I got to Tony Hinchcliffe, I actually watched in real time. Look, I’m anything but a snowflake when it comes to joke tolerance. I’ve watched a lot of standup over the years–quite a bit in person–briefly dated a comedienne who was undoubtedly one of the most dark and depressed people I’ve known and even dabbled in an ill-fated attempt of my own. So I think I’ve developed some sort of objectivity about what constitutes funny.
Forgetting for a second everything else about his choice of subject matter, to me Hinchcliffe simply wasn’t FUNNY.
Yes, I winced, I grimaced and groaned at a few of what he purported were zingers. THE NEW YORK TIMES’ Derrick Bryson Taylor did a decent job at summarizing most of his shtick. Click at your own risk should you want the details. I offer that caution far more because of the potential for ennui than for consternation.
Unsurprisingly, sources such as THE ADVOCATE’s Ryan Adamczeski were quick to enumerate how a whole lot of far more crucial voices than moi felt about it:
Hinchcliffe was immediately condemned by Democrats after his comments over the weekend, including vice-presidential nominee Tim Walz and New York Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, who is Puerto Rican. The two were livestreaming when the comments were made, prompting Walz to call him a “jackwad” and Ocasio-Cortez to say the display was “super disappointing” and “upsetting,” adding, “My family is from Puerto Rico, I’m Puerto Rican.” Though it isn’t just Democrats that have condemned Hinchcliffe’s comments — Florida Republican Sen. Rick Scott called his bit “not funny and not true,” adding that it “bombed for a reason.” An anonymous Trump ally told Rolling Stone they had “never heard of” Hinchcliffe before, asking: “Who booked this fucking jerk?” Another anonymous GOP donor sarcastically added: “It’s fine, not like Donald Trump needs Latinos to vote for him or anything.”
Even the Trump campaign distanced itself from the comments, as senior advisor Danielle Alvarez told Newsweek: “This joke does not reflect the views of President Trump or the campaign.”
You wanna run that back, Ms. Alvarez? (hmmm, that’s an intriguing surname).
Look, it’s one thing for folks in Rick Scott’s demographic–or mine, for that matter–to feign ignorance. Hinchcliffe’s popularity has been established almost exclusively online via his KILL TONY podcast and a stint on Netflix’s record-setting (for a live streaming non-sports event) ROAST OF TOM BRADY this summer. Once again, Bryson Taylor did the heavy lifting for those of you curious enough to try and judge for yourself.
No event this strategically needless that has consumed its host’s limited bandwidth for weeks could have possibly booked a celebrity playlist without at least some involvement from him or his inner circle. Indeed, Marc Caputo’s BULWARK contribution yesterday details that plenty of them knew exactly what Hinchcliffe planned to deliver, so much so that it was noted that they actually had enough decency to delete one of his planned tirades:
(F)our top campaign sources said it could have been even worse. “He had a joke calling [Vice President Kamala] Harris a ‘cunt,’” a campaign insider involved in the discussions about the event told The Bulwark. “Let’s say it was a red flag.” Campaign staffers had asked all speakers to submit drafts of their speeches ahead of time—before they were loaded into the teleprompter—according to the aforementioned sources. Once the objectionable “cunt” joke was spotted, the sources said, a staffer asked Hinchcliffe to strike it. He complied.
In his newsletter this morning, Judd Legum shone a little light on perhaps who in that circle might have been chortling with material that harkens seventh grade boys’ bathroom standards:
Elon Musk created America PAC to help Donald Trump win the presidential election. On Friday afternoon, America PAC posted a video ad attacking Trump’s opponent, Vice President Kamala Harris. “America really can’t afford a ‘C-Word’ in the White House right now,” America PAC posted, adding a laughing emoji. “Kamala Harris is a ‘C word,’” the narrator of the ad says. “You heard that right. A big ole ‘C word.’”
Yep, that adds up.
The potential of a self-inflicted October surprise is apparently looming to be very real. As Adamczeski elaborated:
Several prominent Puerto Rican celebrities have also spoken out against Hinchcliffe and Trump’s association with him, including Bad Bunny, Jennifer Lopez, and Ricky Martin. The three, who collectively have over 315 million followers on Instagram, each reposted a video from Vice President Kamala Harris in which she said Trump has “abandoned and insulted” the people of Puerto Rico at “every chance.”
Naturally, Hinchcliffe hasn’t even attempted to offer an apology, even for the sake of his purported hero. Again via Adamczeski:
“These people have no sense of humor. Wild that a vice presidential candidate would take time out of his ‘busy schedule’ to analyze a joke taken out of context to make it seem racist. I love Puerto Rico and vacation there,” he wrote. “I made fun of everyone…watch the whole set. I’m a comedian Tim…might be time to change your tampon.”
And that’s consistent with the “defense” he offered which Bryson Taylor again provided elaboration on. But in the same piece he also attempted to convey where Hinchcliffe draws his inspiration from. And this is where I have drawn my own line in the sand:
In a 2019 interview with The News & Observer of Raleigh, N.C., Hinchcliffe said that his comedy hero is Don Rickles, the acidic stand-up comic who earned a name for himself in the 1960s by making derisive comments about people’s looks, their ethnicity, sexual orientation and just about anything else. “I remember watching him when I was a little kid when Johnny Carson was still on the air,” Hinchcliffe told The News & Observer. “I loved his rapid-fire delivery and how he made fun of everyone. He was an imaginative beast.”
I realize I’ve got a few years on you, Tony, so I’ve probably watched a lot more Rickles routines than you ever did or will. Every appearance he made on Carson was a reason I was allowed to stay up late as a kid. Every time he graced the stage of a later-day late night host like David Letterman or one of the Jimmies I made sure to watch. I’ve admired Rickles even more since I briefly dated his niece and learned about his family largesse, his charitable contributions and realized he still maintained many of the same values growing up in Queens–where I grew up pretty much equidistant on the Grand Central Parkway between him and the palatial residence of Fred Trump. Rickles’ insult humor was ALWAYS tempered with his reassurances of “Look, I kid” and his cute little diddy “I’m A Nice Guy!” that peppered his Las Vegas act until virtually the day he died.
To paraphrase Lloyd Bentsen, I knew Don Rickles. Tony Hinchcliffe, you are no Don Rickles.
Which then begs the question–wasn’t anyone else available for a gig this prominent–and I’m sure offered decent financial perks as well?
Shane Gillis is a name that immediately comes to mind. He’s clearly at least as popular with the MAGA base. And, in fact, as DEXERTO’s Michael Gwilliam offered up last week, Hinchcliffe owes some of his success directly to Gillis:
Tony Hinchliffe says his comedy podcast ‘Kill Tony’ set a YouTube record with its historic episode where Shane Gillis was Donald Trump and Adam Ray was Joe Biden. On July 15, the podcast had its most-watched episode yet (KT 672) where Shane Gillis impersonated Donald Trump and Adam Ray did an impression of Joe Biden with the two staying in character throughout.
DEADLINE’s Dessi Gomez and Tom Tapp have been keeping a running tab on pro-Trump supporters with at least some cache, again, so you and I don’t have to. Scroll through the list. There’s more than a few names that might have been able to offer what otherwise should have been a forgettable warm-up to the main event–which is ultimately why Madison Square Garden was as filled and noisy as my over-the-moon roommate observed. I would have even accepted her. She could have doubled as the singer for the National Anthem.
We probably won’t know who were the actual options. But I do know that had they really perused that running tab they not only might have found someone less incideniary than Tony freaking Hinchcliffe. They might have found someone who was actually funny.
Until next time…