I’ve tried to do a lot of different things in recent years that I hadn’t even dared to attempt, some of them willingly. For a very brief period of time I was coerced into taking salsa lessons from a friend who seemed to get a lot of personal pleasure from it and thought it could be a good way for me to meet someone to help me get through my tumultuous divorce. What I quickly learned were three indisputable truths: Most of the women were already involved, they’re not cheap and I was a lot more inept at even trying to follow an instructor’s lead than was my friend or just about anyone else in the class. I’m not proud of the fact that I gave it up but given my other priorities and relative skill sets even the most blindly supportive observer would likely concede I made the proper choice. Most of my other friends were anything but supportive and wound up pushing me toward my eventual decision anyhow.
But I do envy those who have a slightly more encouraging and non-judgmental circle around them, let alone the resources, resolve and cavalier attitude to not give as many f-cks as I often to. That’s why I’m actually caught up in the current season of DANCING WITH THE STARS and its most unlikely competitor, Guillermo Rodriguez.
The cherubic security guard-cum-sidekick of Jimmy Kimmel’s was stunt-cast by the show as one of its more comic relief entrants, a formula the show adopted from the remnants of the AMERICAN IDOL auditions when it was introduced more than two decades ago that elevated William Hung’s SHE BANG to historic virality just as internet video was beginning to make it possible. And at least in terms of actual acumen, Rodriguez so far is underperforming even that low bar. ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY’s Ryan Coleman was copiously following last night’s competition and posted his recap in close to real time:
He and pro partner Witney Carson, who is currently four months pregnant, danced a “battle of the bellies” (Carson’s words) on week 4. They strutted out on stage to Carey’s hit “Obsessed.” While Carson kicked, spun, and leapt about, Rodriguez gently shimmied, tapped left and right, and even purposefully fell to the ground during one gag. Though the routine delighted the audience, the judges weren’t so happy…Derek Hough and Bruno Tonioli, ribbed Rodriguez for his lack of technique but praised his infectious charisma. Tonioli suggested that Rodriguez might even be “beyond critique.” 
Resident catfighter Carrie Ann Inaba then chimed in with a word salad of condescending critique and what appeared to be disingenuously backhanded encouragement:
She asked Rodriguez to track back down “that special thing that you bring every time. I felt like you were dimming your light a little bit in this dance.” Then the boos came rolling in. The camera cut across the crowd to show even children booing. “Look, this is what I get paid for, people. I want to tell you because I don’t want you to ever dim your light. You’re special, and you have a natural gift that we all need. Don’t ever not smile in a dance, I need your light. We all do,” she explained. Inaba and Hough ultimately handed Rodriguez and Carson a brutal pair of 4s, but at least Tonioli spared them with a sympathetic 5. Their 13 marked the lowest score of the night by a wide margin.
I wound up silently simpatico with those booers. She sounded a lot like the friends who reacted to the videos I shared of my own efforts. It reinforced the taunting that Coleman had reported on earlier last night that resonated even more with someone who has endured a lifetime of them:
Savannah Bananas second baseman Jackson Olson sure strained the season 35 cast’s family bonds though, when he recently posted and quickly deleted a social media comment poking fun at Guillermo Rodriguez’s less-than-perfect dancing skills…The drama all kicked off on Saturday, when Olson’s fellow exhibition baseball players on the Loco Beach Coconuts posted a TikTok in which player Erik Ostberg recreated some of the moves Rodriguez’s pro partner, Witney Carson, choreographed for last week’s “Yacht Rock Night” performance. Rodriguez went viral (again) when he ripped off his shirt at the end of the performance to reveal a coconut bra and the words “DANCING 4 THE PEOPLE” written on his chest. Ostberg did a version of the same in the Coconuts’ video, and the team even tagged Olson in the comments, writing, “Couldn’t let [Jackson Olson] have all the fun.” Summoned by the tag, Olson wrote back in a comment, “[Erik Ostberg] but seriously how did you do this better than him with 2 hours of rehearsal,” per Cosmopolitan.
I’m that much more sensitive to something like this not only because of my dalliance with dance but because I identify a lot with the struggles that Rodriguez has had for his entire life. As the BIOGRAPHY HOST website chronicled:
Guillermo Díaz Rodriguez was born on 27 January 1971 in Zacatecas, Mexico. After moving to America, Rodriguez worked as a hotel waiter and a parking lot guard, faced many struggles that any immigrant would encounter, but received no benefits. But, life took a turn when he found his break while working as a parking lot security guard at Hollywood Boulevard Studios for Jimmy Kimmel Live!
Kimmel has amplified the origin story in recent days as he built out this arc as a regular segment on his show, a welcome relief from the spigot of Trump jokes that now make up an even more disproportionate amount of his nightly therapy session that has seen an influx of former Stephen Colbert viewers seeking him out in even greater need for some sort of safe haven. Rodriguez was sleeping in his car before he got the security guard gig, and clearly demonstrates he has neither the gift of wit nor the metabolism that Kimmel was gifted with that elevated him from snarky shock jock and Ben Stein adversary to this generation’s Johnny Carson. That said, one of the more enviable gifts of Kimmel and his team (several of whom I’ve come to know personally) is their ability to take full advantage of everyday people that resonate with viewers on a gut level. Anyone who has ever struggled with buckling their belt or trying to keep up with a street savvy Italian heritage denizen of Brooklyn and/or Las Vegas can easily identify with Guillermo. I know I do, and I know I’m not alone. As CINEMABLEND’s Mick Joest theorized yesterday:
It’s not uncommon for Dancing With The Stars fans to rally behind an underachieving dancer, provided they’re likable and want to be there. Guillermo has a mixture, which has led to comparisons to how fans gravitated toward Andy Richter last year. Unlike Andy, however, Guillermo is struggling even more with the dancing. So when Taylor Hanson is sent home in the same week he did his best dance yet, a chunk of DWTS fans feel upset that someone with actual potential to go far was sent packing due to an inferior dancer…In fairness to Guillermo, this happens at various stages of Dancing With The Stars all the time. The fan voting makes the show just as much a popularity contest as it is a dance competition, and well-liked celebrities can last a very long time regardless of how they dance. It’s just extra egregious when the performer staying is exceptionally bad at dancing, which is the case here.
It also didn’t hurt that Olson realized the error of his ways at an opportune time as Coleman again took note of:
On Tuesday, ahead of the competition’s highly anticipated “Mariah Carey Night,” Olson shared a video to his 1.2 million Instagram followers, in which he shakes his head and covers his bespectacled eyes with his hand in shame. The Hannah Montana song, “Nobody’s Perfect,” begins to play as Olson lip-syncs to Miley Cyrus singing, “Everybody makes mistakes. Everybody has those days.” Rodriguez then jumps up into the frame as the beat drops, and the pair dances and clasps hands, reassuring fans of their camaraderie. To G and to all of you, from the bottom of my heart I am so sorry about my comment I made the other day and that it caused this much negativity,” Olson wrote in the caption. “I love this guy ❤️ now let’s do what this show is meant to be about.. DANCE 🕺 ily G.”
And both Cristy Marine and Sabba Rahba of E! NEWS dropped another sign of encouragement just as the show was being rebroadcast on the West Coast:
Carson isn’t tiptoeing around the rumors. After the Dancing With the Stars pro shut down speculation that she was hoping to be voted off the show with her season 35 partner Guillermo Rodriguez, Carson explained exactly why she addressed the rumors.
“Because it’s not true,” she exclusively told E! News after Oct. 6’s Mariah Carey night, “and I just don’t like narratives that aren’t true online without me speaking my truth. I felt like there was enough of it that I did need to clarify, and I needed to get my narrative out,” the 32-year-old explained. “Social media has created such an amazing platform where we can actually do that and we can set the record straight. And I just don’t love anything out there that’s untrue, so I wanted to clarify.”
With all of this goodwill and the power of Kimmel’s social media support it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the team dismissed last night was not the Carson-Rodriguez combo. USA TODAY’s Bryan Alexander treated that as breaking news:
Shockingly, Ciara Miller and Brandon Armstrong were eliminated despite a strong dance and good scores. That was definitely premature. Guillermo Rodriguez has survived another week, despite being in the bottom three again. The growing dancefloor superstar has relied overwhelmingly on his still-rising popularity and his natural exuberance. Because it ain’t the scores.
Inevitably, the cream rises to to the top on competitions like this. The eventual winners are actual talents and Mirrorball trophies are considered way too important to be awarded mockingly. And as we mused last fall, the show’s renewed popularity is a direct result of the intense lobbying and omnipresence of a legion of younger fans who have somehow found a reason to watch old school linear TV while those less familiar with TikTok videos and memos have come to that dark side in pursuit of connection and, yeah, votes. Those more entrenched in that world ultimately benefit more.
But every week where Rodriguez does survive to dance another day is another opportunity for those of us less talented, attractive and digitally native to feel as if we actually matter and belong–ephemeral as that may be. And it’s the reason I’m choosing to watch at all.
Go get ’em, amigo.
Until next time…