Some Fans Know Nothing

It’s Friday the 13th, but to a certain number of highly dedicated and vocal fans of classic television the scariest thing about the day won’t have any connection to Jason Voorhees.   Instead, they will be mourning what they consider the “death” of  a television show that hasn’t produced an original episode in 55 years.

 Regular readers and even my social media followers know darn well I’m an unabashed fan of MeTV, which is far and away the gold standard of “diginets”, broadcasting’s answer to pure profit plays.  Since its inception as a nationally distributed channel in 2010, it has been masterfully been run as an homage to a select number of scripted tv series from the 50s, 60s and 70s designed to appeal to Baby Boomers and those that aspire to be who grew up with the same sort of addiction to TV that I did.  And for the most part it has been a remarkably consistent hang.  With only a few occasional tweaks for seasonality and lapsing rights, shows like M*A*S*H, THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW and PERRY MASON have run every weeknight (and sometimes more often), as safe and reassuring a haven as any viewer or advertiser might desire.  It was one of the few channels I was even allowed to watch by my ex, and when shows she liked were on those were the among the few times of the day I was given relief from her verbal abuse.

But to some of its more ardent fans there’s apparently an even greater demand and need for consistency than I had, and any disruption to their habits inevitably produces a flurry of outraged consternation that wind up dominating the feeds of online groups of its alleged fans.  And they’ve been particularly active of late since CORD CUTTERS NEWS’ Luke Bouma dropped this sobering story last month:

MeTV, America’s leading network for classic television entertainment, has announced a major addition to its programming lineup: the beloved sitcom The Golden Girls will make its triumphant return to broadcast television starting Monday, March 16, 2026. This marks the first time the iconic series has aired over-the-air since its last broadcast in 1997, nearly three decades ago. The show will be featured prominently in MeTV’s schedule. Weeknights from Monday through Friday, viewers can enjoy two back-to-back episodes from 10:00 p.m. to 11:00 p.m. ET/PT.

Making way for it will be HOGAN’S HEROES, a show that has occupied the time slot with rare exceptions nonstop for the last 15 1/2 years.  For those of a certain age not familiar with it, the show was a zany satire of World War II-based dramas with a cast of madcap prisoners of war and German Kommandants set in the fictional Stalag 13.  168 episodes were produced over six seasons as part of a CBS lineup that was at the time dominated by similarly silly and inexplicably high-rated shows like THE BEVERLY HILLBILLIES, PETTICOAT JUNCTION, GREEN ACRES and yes, THE ANDY GRIFFITH SHOW.  When the network decided to move in a decidedly more austere direction and jettisoned them in the so-called “rural purge” HOGAN’S HEROES was swept away along with them.  I suppose since it didn’t seem like Stalag 13 was located anywhere downtown Berlin it too would have qualified as “rural”.

HOGAN’S HEROES was a favorite in my house; my dad would leap to his feet when the show’s daffy opening cued him to don his fedora as a pith helmet and use a vacuum cleaner pipe as a rifle and march in goosestep, my then-toddler sister crawling behind him in blissfully unaware solidarity even when he’d forget he was still in his underwear on balmy summer evenings and our neighbors could see into our living room.  When it went into syndicated reruns after its cancellation even as my sister matured this became a five-night-a-week ritual.  Somehow, just like Colonel Hogan and his crew, we survived an otherwise traumatic experience.

But for way too many current fans the reaction to the fact that it will no longer be as prominently featured has become a crisis even greater than what my childhood household endured.  Witness what one Milo Notis of Liverpool, Tennessee posted as recently as yesterday:

Hogans Hero’s

When Hogans Hero’s goes off so does my family, those awful golden girls are on everywhere else and if they must be somewhere else make it mid-night.
We all want Hogans Hero’s left alone.
Or “rising contributor” Stuka Warner:
Keep hogans heroes on at a descent time and two episodes
Take a gander at groups like Fans of MeTV where these assumed actual humans regularly contribute such articulate commentary. They are threatening “boycotts” and cancellations with the same degree of intensity as Jimmy Kimmel and Stephen Colbert’s fans have, often accompanied by their call to action to attend “No Kings” events.  It’s to a disturbing number of them as big a deal as ICE raids or Operation Epic Fury.
It’s not the first time in the last 12 months that the management of MeTV has set off this powderkeg.  Back in October they announced the addition of EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND to its prime time lineup, the first time the channel has added a show that produced originals into this century.  RAYMOND has been a remarkably consistent rerun performer on numerous cable channels after a lengthy run in broadcast syndication, and continues to prop up so-called “zombie” networks like TV LAND with even more ubiqitous scheduling.   It has delivered sizable increases for MeTV since its premiere, particularly in the key sales demographic they monetize the business off of, and two recent anniversary specials on CBS delivered millions of viewers, many of whom weren’t old enough to have watched the show when it originaly aired.
GOLDEN GIRLS has had similar success on cable networks and streaming services and also recently aired a well-rated anniversary special on ABC.  And it actually has more in common with the MeTV staples than does RAYMOND.    It last produced an original episode more than 30 years ago, and just like HOGAN’S HEROES the entire main cast is now dead.  But just like RAYMOND it has found popularity with viewers substantially younger than its characters and in this particular case with audience segments that likely don’t watch a lot of MeTV’s other current shows.
I can make these claims because I’ve known the channel’s architect and champion Neal Sabin for decades and consider him one of the savviest and knowledgeable broadcasters I’ve ever met.  I’ve previously sung his praises when he launched a cartoon-based spinoff channel nearly two years ago.  His track record and longevity speak for themselves.  Like me, he’s also a student of ratings and trends and uses them to defend both his moves and what to others seems like stagnation.   I know his superiors–or, rather, his partners–know that way better than I do.  And bluntly, far, far more than any “fan” ever will.
Neal’s way too nice and decent a person to call out any of his viewers for being petty, selfish and lazy.   I’m not quite as forgiving.
Even though the rare balanced fan will point out that HOGAN’S HEROES is still readily available on FAST channels via Pluto and in physical media, the bitching continues.  Even though current ratings consistently show that HOGAN’S HEROES is considerably less popular than M*A*S*H, ANDY GRIFFITH and, yes, RAYMOND, the “boycott” declarations proliferate.  Even though there’s overwhelming evidence in those ratings that a substantial proportion of viewers continue to watch a channel out of loyalty to the destination than ever actually leave, nary a day goes by without new saber-rattling calling for Neal’s head on a silver platter.
I’ve lived through similar frustrations and threats during my tenure trying to do what he did with a more limited target and genre-specificity at Game Show Network.  I’ve met many of these fans, sometimes even in person.  Heck, it can be argued that I’m one of them.  I’d do my best to actually try and explain the realities of running a business and not catering to the desires for someone to replace a DVR or YouTube channel with a licensed entity meant to appeal to masses.  Those efforts rarely succeeded.  So I for one am far less tolerant when I see the kind of uninformed reactions and empty threats than the likes of which we’ve seen to the fact that after what by my count is roughly 47 runs of every HOGAN’S HEROES episode that MeTV has taken–on top of the hundreds each have had for the decades it ran on other outlets since my dad’s bizarre expression of fandom–tonight is somehow the end of an era.
And as proof to the fact that Neal’s a way more sensitive and successful soul than moi it was announced in recent days that two weekly episodes of HOGAN’S HEROES will continue to air on MeTV, as part of a Sunday night block that includes other dated gems THE HONEYMOONERS.  There’s more fluidity to that daypart than the channel typically employs elsewhere, so to me it’s clear this is being done as some sort of a capitulation to the “boycotters”.  I wasn’t allowed the opportunity to satisfy my pissed-off viewers at GSN, so I’m particularly envious that he’s in a far better position to at least address his “gold card” viewers than I was.
In the pious hope that somehow some of his will see this, let this be a reminder that even among those of us who know better we do actually listen and care–to an extent.  Even my dad was able to eventually put on his big boy pants and move forward.   So can the Fans of MeTV.  It’s about time they knew something.
Until next time…
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