Things were a lot different back in 1965, let me assure you. There were only three commercial broadcast TV networks, cable was something you sent ahead of arriving in a port city and satellite was something that the Russians were sending into orbit faster than we were. And THE PRICE IS RIGHT had deteriorated in popularity to such an extent that it was about to be cancelled in daytime by the weakest of the three (ABC).
Meanwhile CBS was then, as now, tops in the daypart, largely with soap operas and sitcom reruns. But they were convinced to give a pilot order to the guys who had supplied them with an intriguing prime time series featuring nine celebrities giving answers to trivia questions that delivered sub-par ratings. THE CELEBRITY GAME, hosted by none other than Alan Brady himself, Carl Reiner, was staged on a busy, elongated, faux chandelier-adorned set that producers Merrill Heatter and Bob Quigley felt was off-putting. When they realized that if you stacked the nine into a three-by-three grid, you’d have a cleaner shot and, more importantly, you could make the game tic-tac-toe.
So THE HOLLYWOOD SQUARES was born, and the game itself was entertaining, emphasizing opportunities for celebrities to give joke answers ahead of their actual responses to questions. Then, as now, the rules were easily explained in a series of sentences that to this day rattles off the tongues of game show fans of all ages:
“The object for the players is to get three stars in a row–either across, up and down, or diagnoally. It is up to them to figure out if the star is giving a correct answer or making one up–that’s how they get the square!”
But the CBS pilot’s host was not the man most associated with it over time–the recently departed “master of the Hollywood Squares”, Peter Marshall. Instead, it was the uber-cheesy and overly dramatic man who crooned “There She Is, Miss America”, Bert Parks. And bluntly, he was a square peg in a round hole. Here, judge for yourself.:
CBS eventually passed; other hosts were considered before Marshall was discovered and that was the catalyst that finally got this show to air in October 1966 on NBC, where it joined a lineup of other long-running game shows and eventually eclipsed the tenure of all but one of them. And even when CBS acquired the rights to the show when it purchased its eventual owner King World in 2000, it never chose to deploy the franchise directly to its network. Several of its owned-and-operated stations carried a declining version of it for a spell; eventually several of its cable networks carried demographically targeted spin-offs with little success. All of this going on while ABC successfully resurrected a whole bunch of other classic formats for its prime time, including reimagined versions of several shows that were part of the very same NBC daytime lineup that SQUARES once anchored.
That’s finally being rectified as an all-new modern primetime version of HOLLYWOOD SQUARES debuts on CBS. It’s very much a family affair, with its rising news and sports star Nate Burleson as host and its ever-improving diva of its current syndicated daytime offerings Drew Barrymore as the center square. The set looks gorgeous and it’s even getting some grudgingly favorable reviews from the likes of THE WALL STREET JOURNAL’s John Anderson:
Rising like a demented phoenix out of the ashes of its own reboots, “Hollywood Squares” is back on CBS with a fabled history and a question: What celebrities are as glib and available as were Rose Marie, Charo and—notably—Paul Lynde in the glory days of ’60s-’70s quiz shows? The shtick with the old “Hollywood Squares”…was skirting the proprieties of network television with outrageous double-entendres and innuendo. The best of these came courtesy of the campy Lynde (who died in 1982). In the premiere, the comedians include Jeff Ross, Whitney Cummings, Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and Tiffany Haddish, who seems ready to take her clothes off for a handsome body-builder contestant, though such eagerness is part of her comedic brand. Other celebs filling the three-across-three-down scaffolding of “Hollywood Squares” include actors Julie Bowen and Thomas Lennon, comedians Ms. Pat and J.B. Smoove, and utility infielder Tyra Banks.
For me, the fact that Ross gave a shout-out to Marshall and the music that is officially known as “Bob and Merrill’s Theme” that was used on the NBC version has been brought back is enough to get my curiosity going. But Anderson does strike a cautionary tone that upon reflection should temper expectations for another 14-year run–or even a 14-month one:
Marshall was also part of a phenomenon among earlier TV audiences, especially kids, who would know the cast members only from the quiz shows themselves. Why would someone young recognize Kaye Ballard, Morey Amsterdam, Karen Valentine or Brett Somers? Or Wally Cox? Or Ruta Lee? Or even Lynde? (Though he did play the immortal Uncle Arthur on “Bewitched.”) If a performer does the show, on a lark, it’s probably harmless. But if it becomes a habit, “Hollywood Squares” opens the portal to the land of Famous for Being Famous, though that would certainly depend on a very old idea becoming an unlikely new hit.
So it’s probably fortuitous that it opens tonight in a showcase time period in place of CBS’ two most successful sitcoms before relocating to Wednesdays where it will join a lineup that is headed by the now 53-year-old revival of THE PRICE IS RIGHT. Hey, that rebounded OK, didn’t it?
I guess there’s a halo effect of sorts with that circle-shaped eye.
Until next time…