I’m doing my best to try and avoid most of the news cycle of late, especially on days when the leader of the free world is omnipresent enough to the point where he’s literally getting in the way of escapist reality television. Honestly, I can’t stand the man as far I can’t throw him, and judging by the increasing girth of his gut that’s even less far than I once might have been able to. And no, don’t you dare start accusing me of anything TDS or libtard-adjacent because I have even less patience and respect for the party that can’t seem to stop their own infighting and self-delusion to even begin to coalesce around anyone or anything remotely capable of garnering even a shred more respect or attention. The fact that this low a bar seems increasingly out of reach is enough to drive a man to drink–fortunately my stomach won’t allow me to take that route.
So I persistently look for distractions that allow for even a whiff of optimism; for a change, yesterday provided us with one. A coupla hours before Fat Orange Jesus spewed out his latest batch of slurring bullsh-t we got this ray of hope courtesy of AP Aerospace Writer Marcia Dunn:
Four astronauts embarked on a high-stakes flight around the moon Wednesday, humanity’s first lunar voyage in more than half a century and the thrilling leadoff in NASA’s push toward a landing in two years.
Carrying three Americans and one Canadian, the 32-story rocket rose from NASA’s Kennedy Space Center where tens of thousands gathered to witness the dawn of this new era. Crowds also jammed the surrounding roads and beaches, reminiscent of the Apollo moonshots in the 1960s and ’70s. It is NASA’s biggest step yet toward establishing a permanent lunar presence.
“On this historic mission, you take with you the heart of this Artemis team, the daring spirit of the American people and our partners across the globe, and the hopes and dreams of a new generation,” launch director Charlie Blackwell-Thompson told the crew right before liftoff. “Good luck, Godspeed Artemis II. Let’s go.”
And those words and the ensuing sound bites brought me back to a far healthier and optimistic time of my own when I got to attend a rocket launch in person on Florida’s Space Coast when a NASA program halfway into the drought that Dunn referenced was desperate enough for attention to allow itself to be dragged into the cutthroat world of TV syndication, courtesy of my then-employer MTM Television. Long since divorced from the actual founder of the company Mary Tyler Moore and her savvy spouse Grant Tinker, another brand whose best days were left behind in the 70s, the corporate management team that the Robertson family recruited who came of age at ABC while competing with the juggernaut of breakthrough comedies and dramas that they were able to produce were able to drum up enough support–and a budget–for one last stab at bringing back those glory days.
The centerpiece of this effort that became the company’s crucible was an attempt to be part of the burdgeoning market for perceptually high quality syndicated dramas at a time when several iterations of STAR TREK were flourishing, BAYWATCH was at its peak and both UPN and The WB were in the process of converting historic independent stations to full-fledged network affiliates with partial weeknight schedules that needing filling out. So our team literally cross-bred all of those ideas into something called THE CAPE. It was far and away the riskiest project I had been involved with since my earlier days with FOX, and G-d love them (and if you asked them, He did) the Robertsons were most def not the Murdochs. Dig deep and avoid the same-named NBC flop from 2011 and you’ll find the details of what dominated my days three decades ago:
The Cape (wa)s an American dramatic TV series, with elements of science fiction, action/adventure, and drama, that was produced for syndication during the 1996–97 television season. The Cape told the story of select members of the NASA Astronaut Corps at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida with a focus on their personal lives as they train for, and execute, Space Shuttle missions. The series stars Corbin Bernsen as USAF Colonel Henry J. “Bull” Eckert, an experienced astronaut who, early in the series, was the Director of Astronaut Training but later in the series was also tasked with the responsibility of Chief of the Astronaut Office.
Bernsen was fresh off a stint as part of the photogenic cast of LA LAW, a show I had more than a little bit to do with during my prior employment, so based on those two degrees of separation I developed a rapport with him and the showrunners who came from the snobbier worlds of theatrical films and HBO, Kary Anthoulis and George Zaloom. They insisted upon us hiring actual moonwalker Buzz Aldrin as a consultant who regaled us all with story after story of how this all really worked. I was a fan of the glory days of NASA as they were; I came of age during the era where moon landings were far more welcome pre-emptors to prime time than what we got last night. I was able to connect with all of these gents; trouble was they didn’t know a lot about syndication or were fully prepared for the level of ignorance that buyers and sellers applied in deciding which quality time periods would go to what. My team decided the simplest message would to reference the show, sight unseen, as BAYWATCH in space. Good-looking people putting their lives on the lines and being heroes each week. Based on that flimsy premise, we were able to secure coveted prime time real estate in New York and many other top markets; in Los Angeles we finagled our way onto the CBS owned-and-operated station for what we believed would be an adjacency to its highest-rated newscast.
The only problem was our budget couldn’t afford the sorts of special effects and authencity that the showrunners had been able to secure in more supportive environments–nor did they have any interest whatsoever in producing anything hinting of exploitation. The end product was nothing even close to BAYWATCH or STAR TREK–it was far closet to GENERAL HOSPITAL in orange suits with helmets. Bernsen would joke that he was spending far more time standing on the launch pad than even inside the rockets which NASA was at one time open to us shooting in. To do that would have required extra insurance, and our beancounters somehow didn’t see the need to spring for that.
We quickly wound up with a bunch of discouraging debut numbers in a marketplace that was literally drowning in alternatives that also included HERCULES, XENA, BABYLON 5 and a reboot of KUNG FU that far better fueled a diet dependent upon fast-food TV rather than the gourmet fare that our creative team was determined to produce. A summer of anticipation where we frequently bonded at the same Cocoa Beach bars that actual astronauts unwound at–courtesy of being able to drag Aldrin and his controlling wife Lois to secure us the best tables– turned into a fall of disappointment and then a winter of discontent. When MTM flew the entire company to Las Vegas to join in for a 25th anniversary blowout news quickly spread that THE CAPE had already lost $16 million halfway through its first season. Our CBS LA partner downgraded the show to the middle of the night. The Robertsons pretty much determined that night that they were going to sell the company. THE CAPE ultimately became known as the show that literally killed the kitty.
So I’m choosing to be somewhat optimistic about what’s about to unfold in space this time around, especially in light of what I read earlier this week from THE NEW YORK TIMES’ Timothy Bella:
Why go back to the moon anyway?…To the four astronauts of Artemis II, the first crewed mission around the moon in more than 50 years, the answer is simple. Reid Wiseman, Victor Glover, Christina Koch and Jeremy Hansen each remember looking up at the moon as children, and feeling small. They all felt part of something much greater than themselves. They say recreating that feeling is reason enough to go back.
Mr. Glover, the mission’s pilot, noted the parallels between his mission and the launch of Apollo 8 in 1968, another tumultuous year in American history, remembered for the assassinations of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Senator Robert F. Kennedy. “That was a tough time in the country,” he said, “and I hope that we can create a touch point for our generation that’s equal to, or maybe there’s a path to be even greater than, because it’s current and it’s ours.”
I too remember that tumultuous year. My stomach was only slightly better then. I know I felt equally as overwhelmed then by a news cycle that I was just beginning t0 pay closer attention to as I am now.
So I’m gonna look for some sort of rocket fuel from the Artemis II crew. Hopefully, they will make up for not only what we have to put up with today, but for the bad taste that NASA left in my mouth with THE CAPE. Kitties deserve to thrive, don’t they?
Until next time…