So in yet another June wedding Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez are finally a legally bound couple. Whee. I guess my invitation got lost in the mail. Just as well; I know I couldn’t have afforded the airfare and judging by what my bank account statement is displaying at the moment (a mere ten digits below what is reportedly sitting in Bezos’) I definitely know I couldn’t have afforded a gift.
I do acknowledge that a lot more people that also missed the invite cutoff care about these nuptials than the average June wedding. Heck, CNN apparently considered it significant enough breaking news yesterday to trump (pun intended) a live interview with another fairly prominent newsmaker, as IRISH STAR’s Rob Currell noted:
Eagle-eyed social media users were quick to point out the awkward moment CNN interviewer Erin Burnett quickly moved on from the recent Zohran Mamdani interview. Burnett questioned Mamdani about claims made by Mayor Eric Adams implying that his opponent was out of touch with many of his potential constituents for having a silver spoon mentality including manicured nails. The democratic socialist responded with: “He is trying to distract from his own record. His is a record where he raised rents on more than two million New Yorkers by nine percent.”
According to journalist Ken Klippenstein the interview was ended abruptly. He wrote on X that after Burnett promptly cut away from Mamdani, she launched into the next story. Klippenstein posted: “CNN ends its interview of Zohran Mamdani immediately transitioning to its next segment on Jeff Bezos’ $50 million wedding in Venice (lol). Next we take you to Venice, where capitalism rules with Jeff Bezos’ $50 million wedding.”
Given the intensity of the virtual catfight that Mamdani and Adams were engaged in, I’d contend both of these stories appeals to the same coveted demo/psychographic that justifies the existence of Bravo in the actual NBCUniversal portfolio and FOX in the world as a whole. The concept that numerous designers of tabloid culture have reminded me over the decades.
There are only two kinds of stories anyone gives a sh-t about–those that make you wish they were happening to you and those that make you damn glad they aren’t.
And GRAZIA’s Nikki Peach pretty much nailed the pseudo-analytical reasons why that assessment is even truer this weekend than usual:
It is without contest the celebrity wedding of the year. Despite essentially renting out the city of Venice, booking out five of the island’s most luxurious hotels and hosting 200 A-list guests for a four-day extravaganza, or the fact Amazon chairman Bezos is the third richest man in the world, the wedding has reportedly come in at a modest €40 million (£34m). Given that Bezos has an estimated net worth of $226.7 billion (£165.12bn), one might have anticipated a bigger budget. Perhaps we should have guessed after Bezos proposed to Sanchez with a $3-5 million engagement ring, going against the old adage that it should cost three months of your salary, which for him would be an estimated $1.8 billion. He clearly prefers to keep his money in the bank.
To make matters even bleaker, a lot of the search surrounding Bezos and Sanchez’s wedding is not about the above at all. It’s about ‘Lauren Sanchez then and now’, with particular interest in ‘What cosmetic surgery Lauren Sanchez has had done?’ According to Google Trends, ‘Jeff Bezos wife before and after’ is a breakout search term, as is ‘Lauren Sanchez 2010’ and ‘Lauren Sanchez face surgery’.
I for one don’t have to contribute to that particular search. I knew Lauren Sanchez then–we worked in the same building and I knew several of her co-workers. I also saw her continually happening to stop by the executive offices of FOX Sports Net when she was an up-and-coming on-air talent, ostensibly to pick up tidbits of information about how her shows and the “network” as a whole was performing. There was even one infamous meeting that she crashed where we were unpacking that very subject–without boring you with unnecessary details, let’s just say that the way FSN constructed its national schedule made it impossible for Nielsen to measure it in the same manner as a traditional network was. I was invited as someone who could help explain what the differences were, as I was sheparding two such animals in the same corporate family. Once we began to rattle off the various reasons why that was so and what possible alternatives existed as a workaround, she quickly lost interest and then excused herself–but not before she gave an obviously over-the-top hug to the exec that apparently had allowed her to stay.
I later was asked to stick around to help debrief our group chairman and had to wait outside his office, where his extremely personable assistant that I knew from her friendship with some of my colleagues was holding court. I asked why an on-air talent had been invited and told her about that hug. Her eyes rolled and she muttered “Oh, the puta‘s at it again”.
A few weeks later, at a party we were both at, she and several of my colleagues regaled me with names and specific incidents of the athletes and executives Sanchez had been seen out with socially, and even a couple that she confessed wound up being what we’d now call a “hookup”.
I don’t think I’m bursting any bubbles by reminding that Sanchez was anything but unique with such behavior–indeed, at FOX, in pre-“Me Too” days–I had personally observed a lot more and a lot worse. I’ll even confess that by today’s standards my position afforded me a few such opportunities of my own–though I was never in a position to actually reward anyone who actually went out with me anything in return. I will tell you that several immediately lost interest in a followup when they came to realize that.
To be fair, this all took place before Sanchez married mega-agent Patrick Whitesell, who eventually rose to the number two position at William Morris Endeavor right under the storied Ari Emanuel. Plenty of agents and talent hook up and some even fall in love. Being Mrs. Whitesell was frequently cited as the reason Sanchez ultimately received even more opportunities to co-host other series, including SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE and KTTV’s then-dominant GOOD DAY L.A. morning fest. But even Whitesell’s success wasn’t enough for someone as uber-opportunistic as she.
As for her new hubby, I’ve never met him. But I did go through an extensive and intense selection process where I was seriously considered for an executive role at Prime Video, and I do know several of Bezos’ key lieutenants. All candidates were required to learn all about the unique Amazon culture and at the time watched a video that Bezos himself narrated parts of, including some revelations of what he contends was his spartan upbringing (though, to me, a degree at Princeton hardly qualifies as such). When I discussed some of this with folks directly and indirectly involved with the selection process, many of whom had frequent personal dealings, and asked what drives that culture, more than one observed “Jeff’s never won an award, and he really, REALLY wants one.”. Once the critically acclaimed but financially underwhelming MANCHESTER BY THE SEA provided him and Prime Video an Oscar, his appetite only grew more voracious.
And as one higher-up counseled me, his assessment was “Jeff’s basically a nerd, and he tends to embrace people who can appeal to that side of his personality. You should have a decent shot”. Obviously, he–well, his lieutenant–chose someone else. I’m not sure I shouldn’t have seen it as a backhanded compliment, though Lord knows life would be a lot different had I had a few years of that salary and stock options.
And as both a nerd and a man, I absolutely get why he’d fall for the allure of someone as unabashedly dynamic and undeniably attractive as Sanchez. I’m not quite as snarky nor as insecure as how Megyn Kelly expressed her feelings on her eponymous podcast yesterday, as THE WRAP’s Rocky Harris reported:
On the occasion of Amazon founder Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sánchez’s wedding, Megyn Kelly offered some pointed criticisms of the couple’s rather noticeable personal aesthetic. According to Kelly, the tech billionaire resembles the male reproductive organ. Kelly didn’t stop there, bringing up Sánchez’s cosmetic surgery, something the conservative podcaster thinks has “made her face look deformed.” She went on to suggest that Sánchez is merely an object for Bezos’ pleasure and pondered the “amount of pressure” the Emmy-award-winning journalist must be under.
As someone who observed how Kelly charmed her way up the FOX ladder while ostensibly being happily married–a point several of her colleagues openly questioned in informal meetings I had with them–I’d simply offer that the lady doth protest too much.
If one digs into their respective CVs one realizes they actually have many things in common. They both have roots in Albuquerque. They both love flying. They both seem to love being the center of attention and the finer things in life.
But as Peach concluded, the real story here may not be the fact that these people found each other, literally for better or worse, but the fact that so many of us actually care that they did:
“This seems, to me, to be the pinnacle of a long career of social climbing,’ said Matt Beloni, the Hollywood reporter behind The Town podcast. ‘She did it. She made it.’ Speaking to those in her orbit, The Cut’s findings suggest Sanchez is ‘mystically magnetic’ and that ‘Jeff is dazzled’ by her. The paparazzo Jesal Pashotam, who has shot the couple around the world, also suggested Sanchez is ‘down to earth’. Pashotam also added that she is ‘very clever’ and ‘just gets the game’. If she does, she’ll understand that speculation around what she used to look like and whether she’s had plastic surgery are par for the course.
As my best friend has consistently reminded me, people are inherently jealous, particularly when it’s difficult for them to grasp what possible reason someone with qualities they covet would be drawn to what they see as someone beneath them. Certainly, their respective track records help create the degree of skepticism and envy that seems to be dominating social media discussions. It all goes back to the earlier observation about the only two things people really give a sh-t about.
But ultimately all of us deserve at least one person who gets us, who can provide moral support and who will encourage us to be our best self, regardless where that be played out, be it business or bed. I’m willing to give these two at least that much bandwidth and hope that such is the case, even with a $50 million pricetag.
And that’s why the title of this musing has those less objective words in quotes–consider them air quotes, please. Mine are the two that aren’t so framed. Mazel tov.
Until next time…