If You Really Want To Trap A Bunny, Think Like A Fox

MEMO TO: ERICA KIRK, CEO/CHAIR OF THE BOARD, TURNING POINT USA

FR: STEVE LEBLANG, NON-PARTISAN MEDIA CONSULTANT

RE: ALL AMERICAN HALFTIME SHOW 2026

 

Hello, Mrs. Kirk.  I trust you are faring somewhat better than the most recent time we saw your organization referenced publicly.  I joined the millions of your ardent members and I would hope almost every person who claims to be human in grieving your otherwise unthinkable loss.  As even I mused in the wake of that tragedy, no young wife nor toddlers should have to grow up without a loving spouse/father. I will confess that the balance of said musing may not have played all that well with others in your orbit.  But since you appear to have reignited the concept of forgiveness with your moving speech about the same person, I kinda net out at, well, bygones.

And besides, the fact that your organization chose to drop this little nugget yesterday would seem to suggest that you’re at least on the path to getting back to what your definition of normal was.  You know, the one that THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER’s Carly Thomas reported on:

Turning Point USA, a right-wing political advocacy organization founded by the late Charlie Kirk, announced on Thursday that it’s holding its own performance during football’s biggest night on Sunday, Feb. 8, that will likely be streamed online.

“HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT It’s true, Turning Point USA is thrilled to announce The All American Halftime Show,” the org wrote on social media. “Performers and event details coming soon.”

And apparently it took the entire NFL Staff of THE ATHLETIC (no foolin’, that’s the byline) to add what few other specifics your organization was at least contemplating:

On the flyer shared on social media, Turning Point USA is calling the initiative “The All-American Halftime Show,” celebrating “faith, family and freedom”. The website provided for the halftime show currently displays a form that, aside from personal information, asks only one question: “What music genres would you like to see featured?” The options include: Anything in English, Americana, Classic Rock, Country, Hip Hop, Pop and Worship.

And I gotta tell ya: you’ve certainly got a whole bunch of folks who aren’t even in your organization’s theoretical target demographic abuzz.  Thomas supplied this pearl of wisdom from a coupla of non-Gen Z/Aers who’ve got a lot else on their respective plates these days:

While it hasn’t been revealed who the artist would be, House Speaker Mike Johnson previously suggested 1980s country singer Lee Greenwood as a good pick for the Super Bowl Halftime Show. After it was announced that global superstar and Puerto Rican rapper-singer Bad Bunny would be taking to the stage in February, some conservatives slammed the decision, including President Donald Trump, who called it “absolutely ridiculous.” Johnson also said it was “a terrible decision.”

And the SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE’s Aidin Vaziri, whose readers have a tad more skin in this game since it will take place in the 49ers’ exurban shrine in Palo Alto, took note of another choice that, to be fair, is slightly less ancient and has a few more hits to their credit than an octogenerian one-hit wonder such as the esteemed Mr. Greenwood:

(I)nsiders say early talks included rock band Creed as a possible headliner.  The idea, first floated by conservative influencer Jack Posobiec, quickly caught traction online among MAGA-aligned figures.

“By every measure, Creed has earned the Super Bowl halftime gig,” Posobiec said on “The Charlie Kirk Show.” “It is time for them to take us higher. To a place with golden streets.” Posobiec and others, including podcaster Tim Pool, have accused the NFL of making a political statement by selecting Bad Bunny, one of the world’s most-streamed artists and a frequent critic of Trump-era immigration policies. 

Looksies, I’m not gonna attempt to weigh in on what degree of obsessive blind hatred may have led you to heed this apparent call to action to seize this Seventh Mountain in this manner.  That full ATHLETIC staff did note that a coupla other older dudes and dudettes were not shy about sharing theirs:

Days after Bad Bunny was announced as the Super Bowl halftime performer, a Trump administration official said ICE agents would be at the game, which takes place at Levi’s Stadium. “There is nowhere that you can provide safe haven to people who are in this country illegally. Not the Super Bowl, and nowhere else,” Corey Lewandowski, chief adviser to Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem, said during an appearance on “The Benny Show,” hosted by the conservative podcaster Benny Johnson. “We will find you. We will apprehend you. We will put you in a detention facility, and we will deport you.”

And as Thomas’ colleague McKinley Franklin observed earlier this week, his boss/shtup buddy couldn’t help but add her two cents (roughly the estimated value of a Trump silver dollar):

(I)n a recent video on Benny Johnson’s YouTube channel, Noem weighed in on the conversation, further confirming that agents will at the Super Bowl, where Bad Bunny will perform.  “I have the responsibility for making sure everybody who goes to the Super Bowl has the opportunity to enjoy it and to leave, and that’s what America’s about,” she said. “So yeah, we’ll be all over that place. We’re going to enforce the law.” When asked if she had “any message to the NFL” amid Bad Bunny being named the Super Bowl’s headlining act, Noem replied, “Well, they suck and we’ll win, and God will bless us and we’ll stand and be proud of ourselves at the end of the day, and they won’t be able to sleep at night because they don’t know what they believe. And they’re so weak, we’ll fix it.”

Gotta tell ya, they’re almost as adorable a couple as you and your beloved were.  But you know all of this, and likely more, so forgive my unfortunate digression.  What’s at issue, and where I think I can help you, is perhaps helping you come up with a more pointed and proven strategy to divert attention from Mr. Bunny than your team appeared to be initially capable of.  And as someone who worked for both the executives at FOX and International Family Entertainment–the “secular” wing of the Christian Broadcasting Network–I contend I have a unique combination of experience and insight as to why borrowing a page from folks who did successfully counterprogram a Super Bowl halftime show might be worth considering.  You’re not old enough to remember this, so I’ll let MENTAL FLOSS’ Jake Rossen fill you in as he did on the eve of Supe 58:

In the 1980s and into the 1990s, the mid-game spectacles for the Super Bowl were little more than filler—something to occupy audiences as white noise while they replenished snacks or used the bathroom. A 1988 show featured people Jazzercising; in 1989, a magician dressed as Elvis Presley (“Elvis Presto”) performed what was billed as the world’s largest card trick, a confusing gimmick that was further burdened by a shortage of Coca-Cola-provided 3D glasses; in 1990, actors dressed as characters from the Peanuts comic strip cavorted across the field.  The banality of these productions wasn’t lost on Fox, which in the early 1990s was still attempting to establish itself as the fourth major network. Thanks to The Simpsons, Married…With Children, and In Living Color, it was successful at being a broadcast disruptor, courting attention with counterculture programming. 

In 1991, Fox’s then-president Jamie Kellner decided to take it to another level. According to Homey Don’t Play That!: The Story of In Living Color and the Black Comedy Revolution, author David Peisner’s 2018 account of the show’s history, Kellner believed his network could capitalize on the Super Bowl even though CBS had the rights to air the game. How? By offering an alternative to its lame halftime programming.  Kellner’s reasoning was that the Super Bowl audience was so immense that getting even a small percentage to change the channel would be a win. The idea, which came from Keenen Ivory Wayans’s manager Eric Gold and marketing expert Jay Coleman, was to mount a live episode of In Living Color, which was already in the zeitgeist as a hip upstart alternative to Saturday Night Live. Characters like Damon Wayans’s Homey D. Clown and Carrey’s Fire Marshal Bill were being quoted in offices and on playgrounds. Kellner believed it might be enough to have someone reach for the remote.

Fox moved quickly, with Coleman getting Frito-Lay on board to sponsor the show for $2 million  .On January 26, 1992, Super Bowl XXVI kicked off between the Washington Commanders (then the Washington Redskins) and the Buffalo Bills. With Washington up 17-0 at halftime, CBS launched an ice skating show meant to promote the Winter Olympics; Fox launched In Living Color. While some bits would be pre-taped—Carrey’s accident-prone fire marshal required pyrotechnics that needed time to set up safely—much of it was live.  Throughout, Fox kept a countdown clock onscreen so fans knew when it was time to switch back to CBS. 

Here, watch for yourself:

Fox did more than just grab a few of the Super Bowl’s 79.5 million viewers. It scored 11 percent of them and managed to dent the monolithic program’s viewership in the process. 
I was in numerous planning sessions a year before this all eventually happened where Kellner and team first dreamed this up.  We plotted with all of the meticulousness and determination as I suspect some your followers’ older relatives did when they making plans for a tour of the Capital a few Januarys ago.  We dealt with the logistical issues of directing people to grab their remotes that were otherwise running the kind of stuff have-nots typically run against Super Bowls: anything that didn’t appeal to people who liked football.  If memory serves me right, I believe they settled on a specially-selected block of not-yet syndicated repeat episodes which we superimposed the game’s progress on as a countdown clock of its own.  At least that was the suggestion I and a couple of other eager young uns offered up.  I know I rarely saw Kellner more enthusiastic and engaged as he was during our sometimes harebrained and hilarious pow-wows.
You have no such technical encumbrances.  In a multi-platform world where millions of Super Bowl viewers–especially those in your demo sweet spot–they’ll land on whatever you’d offer in a couple of clicks.  But do note we offered comedy, not music, as counterprogramming.  It’s one thing to get people to switch away from something, it’s entirely something else to get them to stick around.  With all due respect, “I’m Proud To Be An American” has its limitations.  Especially for those that indeed will be needing a pee break at that point.
You’ve got lots of options in that vein.  Roseanne Barr, for one, who’s got some performance experience around sports events.  Shane Gillis.  Greg Gutfeld and his top-rated troupe of late night dominant funny folks.  And, dare I say, the jokester-in-chief himself who’s fresh off his rousing performance in front of 800 four star generals.
If you do want to go the song route, maybe run a contest to find a worthy young performer to share the stage with the likes of Creed.  You could launch it during the Kennedy Center Honors telecast in December and make it a month-long reality competition. Something like AMERICAN IDOL or THE VOICE, neither of which will be on the air in that window.  I’m pretty sure Mark Burnett would embrace something like this willingly and see it as a personal mission, and he’d probably give you a friends and family rate.
Were Kellner still alive, I’d wholeheartedly suggest you back up whatever collection plate you took up in at that moving memorial you hosted and dump its contents on the doorstep of his Montecito mansion.  Alas, you’ll have to settle for folks like me for guidance–if for no other reason that to help you process your initial polling results.  (You might want to flesh out some of your choices; my strong hunch is “Anything In English” is going to skew your results dramatically).  I promise you, I’d work a LOT cheaper than he would have or Burnett could.
To be candid, I don’t necessarily agree with the vision and the approach of TURNING POINT USA.  But as I’ve noted look who I have worked for and whose checks I eagerly cashed.  My financial needs are a lot more dire now.  And, again, you seem to be the forgiving type.
So please consider this a sincere albeit wordy RFP.  Your team actually beat me to the punch with yesterday’s announcement; I was planning to muse about this very subject as early as yesterday morning before your stories dropped.  I suppose great minds think alike, or maybe that was somehow G-d’s way of sending a message to us both?
But one caveat, Mrs. Kirk.  If I ever get wind that you even think of reiterating any of the racially insensitive and heinous bullsh-t your otherwise noble husband invoked in his “debates” that countless objective and more informed observers have brought to my attention, I’ll pray even more zealotically than you ever have that you join him in burning for eternity sooner than later.   And I’ll confess I’ll enjoy making you cry in the process.
Now that we’ve cleared that up, I look forward to next steps.
Respectfully submitted,
Steve Leblang
Until next time…

 

1 thought on “If You Really Want To Trap A Bunny, Think Like A Fox”

  1. Your lies about Charlie and threats to his widow are worth repeating……..No debate.

    If I ever get wind that you even think of reiterating any of the racially insensitive and heinous bullsh-t your otherwise noble husband invoked in his “debates” that countless objective and more informed observers have brought to my attention, I’ll pray even more zealotically than you ever have that you join him in burning for eternity sooner than later. And I’ll confess I’ll enjoy making you cry in the process.
    Steve Leblang

    If I ever get wind that you even think of reiterating any of the racially insensitive and heinous bullsh-t your otherwise noble husband invoked in his “debates” that countless objective and more informed observers have brought to my attention, I’ll pray even more zealotically than you ever have that you join him in burning for eternity sooner than later. And I’ll confess I’ll enjoy making you cry in the process.
    Steve Leblang

    If I ever get wind that you even think of reiterating any of the racially insensitive and heinous bullsh-t your otherwise noble husband invoked in his “debates” that countless objective and more informed observers have brought to my attention, I’ll pray even more zealotically than you ever have that you join him in burning for eternity sooner than later. And I’ll confess I’ll enjoy making you cry in the process.
    Steve Leblang

    If I ever get wind that you even think of reiterating any of the racially insensitive and heinous bullsh-t your otherwise noble husband invoked in his “debates” that countless objective and more informed observers have brought to my attention, I’ll pray even more zealotically than you ever have that you join him in burning for eternity sooner than later. And I’ll confess I’ll enjoy making you cry in the process.
    Steve Leblang

    Reply

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