It was Lady Gaga Night on SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE, and after a week where Shane Gillis headlined in his undeniably polarizing manner, let’s just say the show needed her as much as she and her team that’s about to drop her latest album, MAYHEM, needed the show for its promotion. While her body of work now spans 16 1/2 years, thus giving her a stability and demographic breadth as wide as any performer’s, her audience skews decidely blue, both in political terms and subject matter. And I’m pretty darn sure they’re not fans of Shane Gillis. So flush with the success of the 50th anniversary’s show’s large audience, SNL needed something to bring its core viewer back into the tent, and few hit the tick marks for such a challenge better than Gaga.
I’m hardly the demo, gender or even lifestyle that her coalition of zealots called Little Monsters leans towards. But I’ve met plenty of them, and indeed even spent some time with the talent born Stefani Germanotta and her family, over pretty much the first decade of her career, which fully aligned with a time in my life that I’m thankful seems to be almost fully behind me. In the last days of that period, the “dedication” of one such Little Monster nearly resulted in my death. The fact that the source of that experience isn’t completely, fully, definitively behind me causes me great pain, frustration, consternation, anxiety and distress.
And, to be honest, it’s kinda kept me from engaging with Gaga’s talents of late. I certainly can’t afford her concerts, or even her music. And knowing what I did about the “vision” that went into JOKER 2, I wisely chose to avoid that as well–not that I was alone in that decision. But hey, TV on a Saturday night when my roomie is out and about is one of the few guilty pleasures I have these days, and there’s only so much sports even I can stomach.
So despite the triggers that seeing her inflames within me, I gave her 90-ish minutes of my time last night. I’m sure glad I did. I got to catch up on her latest musical releases and I’m in lockstep with the raves that VARIETY’s Chris Willman bestowed upon her in his recap from last night:
Her first number, “Abracadabra,” reached out and grabbed ya by riffing on the costuming and design of the crimson-themed music video for that single, with Gaga and dancers doing herky-jerky lockstep moves on a mirrored set designed to make the cramped space of Studio 8H just a little more stadium-like. Her second number was the live premiere of a track that only had been unveiled to the public about 48 hours before, when her new “Mayhem” album came out. In that short time, “Killah” has already become a fan favorite, with its retro-funk stylings, so many of her devotees at home were undoubtedly greeting this album cut at least as enthusiastically as if she’d brought out a greatest hit.
And I also got a chance to catch up with her life in general, details she supplied with her usual candor and arguably brutal honesty during her monologue, which ROLLING STONE’s Daniel Krebs broke down this morning:
“I’m so excited to be here. I know you might be thinking I’m here to promote my album, Mayhem, but I’m actually here to remind you that I’m an amazing actor,” Lady Gaga said at the onset. The singer then noted how the last time she did double duty at SNL, she was 27; she’s 38 now, “scientifically the best age for a female pop star to be. Honestly though, most pop stars are over 40: Chappell Roan is 58, and Charli XCX, she’s 75. Tate McRae… is my biological grandmother.”
She continued, “the last time I hosted was in 2013, and every aspect of my performance aged amazingly. There’s no need to google ‘SNL 2013 Lady Gaga featuring R. Kelly.'” Gaga then shifted to her acting career. “I’ve been very diligent about selecting films that would showcase my craft as a serious actor. Films such as Joker 2,” she said.
And then she proceeded to participate in every single act of the show, save for Weekend Update. Unveiling a comedic knack and a range of scintillating voice talent that I’ve rarely seen elsewhere from any performer of any era. A particular emphasis on earthy and exaggerated Noo Yawkahs–heck, she grew up in midtown. On paper, privileged but in actuality, in arguably as dysfunctional an environment as I grew up with a two-fare zone away.
I know this because not only I have heard her side of the story, which has made her a heroine in the eyes of her often even more challenged uberfans who have battled families and now a plurality of the country just to have identity, but from her dad Joe Germanotta, software executive, restaurant entrepreneur and passionate baseball fan. I’ve watched a few Yankee games together with him and some of his more regular topers over a few of his better house vinos at his pleasant Upper West Side bistro JOANNE’s, named for the sister he lost to an autoimmune disease before she was 20. It is that connection that turned someone once in my life into an unlikely Little Monster, and let’s just say hanging with Joe watching Aaron Judge was probably the safest route I could take under the challenging circumstances of my own.
Which is why I was happy to see Gaga’s made significant inroads in her own maturity and road to happiness, a path which USA TODAY’s Patrick Ryan allowed Gaga to chronicle through her own words in his backstory piece on MAYHEM which dropped yesterday:
(T)he very best song on her dazzling new album, out Friday, just might be the more downtempo “Blade of Grass,” an evocative piano ballad about undying, unvarnished love. The anthem is sure to become a future wedding staple, with its poignant lyrics about how “forever’s not enough,” and forgoing a diamond ring when you have “the air that I’m breathing.” Gaga, whose real name is Stefani Germanotta, says it was “very special” co-writing the track with her fiancé, venture capitalist Michael Polansky. The couple got engaged early last year after four years of dating.
Throughout her more than 15 years in the spotlight, Gaga, 38, has been candid about her struggles with mental health, substance abuse and debilitating chronic pain. It’s why her fans on social media have been moved to see the Oscar and Grammy winner so contented and creatively energized in recent months. So for someone who once believed she needed to suffer for her art, when did Gaga realize she deserves to be happy?
“I really appreciate you asking me that question and asking it so kindly,” Gaga says. “It was recent, actually – it was in the last five years. I decided I wanted better for myself. But also, Michael and I became friends about a month before we started dating, and he basically said to me, ‘I want you to know that you could be a lot happier.’ It was hard to hear that from him; I felt a lot of shame that he could see I was unhappy. I was trying to show him I was OK, but I wasn’t really. And I think he wanted me to know that it was OK to be honest with him that I wasn’t really happy with life.
I really wish I had enough peace of mind, stability and mindset to be in a similar stasis. And if I were capable of being as self-reflective as Gaga, I’d probably at some point wish that one particular Little Monster might be able be that self-reflective. Maybe even finally and fully move on. Yet virtually every time I think that point is within reach there’s yet another harassing outreach with virtually zero thought put into it. So much as it may be the more noble and adult path for me to turn the other cheek, that appears for now not to be a possibility. And I suppose some might somehow say that’s my karma.
But for me to “blame” Gaga for any of this would be both disingenuous and even more immature than the behavior I deal with. For a while, I avoided her work at all costs. But at one point along the way a very special friend with her own angelic voice urged me to listen to her do a virtual duet with Gaga on her signature work BORN THIS WAY–the slower, more emotional version akin to how BLADE OF GRASS was executed. With her signature smile, she gave the song justice, and endeared herself to me as a friend for life.
Incidentally, another Little Monster I once knew who happened to be a doctor was at least respectful and resourceful enough to direct me to a hospital when he could see even over FaceTime I was rapidly developing jaundice–despite the urging of his fellow fan not to get involved. Had that person not done so, I’d likely be long gone–a fact confirmed by several doctors who treated me soon after.
So I do suppose that when all is said and done, I’ve gotten enough good from Gaga as bad. I guess I can allow myself to say something positive and supportive about her when it’s warranted. Last night, it most certainly was.
Until next time…