A long time ago, in a galaxy far away, there was a seminal event as crucial as the autumnal equinox itself called Fall Premiere Week. Three networks that accounted for more than three-quarters of all television viewing would cobble together a carefully crafted and debated schedule chock full of newly debuting comedies and dramas and strategically shifted returning staples designed to move dedicated fans to switch channels to follow their favorites and perhaps sample something that came on right after it. It was as close to a surgical science as anything could be in a creative business, with thousands of hours and millions of dollars in quantitative and qualitative research being invested by each player each year–all in the hopes of currying seasonal business from the automotive and electronics industries tied to their own fourth quarter product launches. A digest-sized bible called TV GUIDE would literally grow a spine to accommodate the numerous articles and ads that would support it. On-air campaigns to tout this would begin as soon as July Fourth weekend. If you belong to any online retro TV group you’re likely been barraged with images and videos of those now ancient and archaic times, with as many “Sad!” comments as one might find on any Truth Social post accompanying them. 
OTOH, if you’re eye-rolling the above paragraph you’re likely nowhere near as seasoned as moi and you may very well be among the few that still remain working for networks/platforms, vendors and agencies these days. Practically no one adheres to such a fixed timetable any more–those constraints were blown away decades ago when certain aggressive auto manufacturers began to debut new models with next year’s date as early as spring. Not to mention the reality check that the overwhelming number of newly launched series that failed to get renewed grew at an alarming rate at roughly the same time those in charge began to scrutinize ROIs more than ever.
For those of us who actually remember those halycon times there is at least still the braintrust at CBS, which will never fail to remind us to that they are still the most-viewed single destination for content capable of being competitively measured by an objective third party anywhere in the media universe in any given week. Granted, they get to make that statement using many more factors than simply how much their primetime shows are watched in real time. But they still do allow their team–led by such proven veterans as scheduling star Noriko Kelley and PR maven Phil Gonzales–to dedicate resources to allow stories like what THE WRAP’s Andi Ortiz dropped yesterday to actually be worthy of coverage:
Fall has officially begun, and this week, so does CBS’ Fall programming slate.
It all kicks off on Sunday, with the return of “Marshals” and “Tracker.” Though the bulk of the networks Fall slate is made up of returners, there are also three brand new series premiering as well. That includes “Eternally Yours,” a new vampire comedy from the creators of “Ghosts” — perfectly timed for the beginning of the Halloween season.
ETERNALLY YOURS is being teed up for as great a chance of being considered successful as anything can these days. It is temporarily inherting the GHOSTS time slot as a companion piece to GEORGIE AND MANDY’S FIRST MARRIAGE–still living off enough of the remnants of THE BIG BANG THEORY to be consequential. And there is very much a horror-embracing fan base out there for them to play off. COLLIDER’s Samantha Coley practically served as an in-house publicist with the “review” she dropped last week:
While Ghosts Season 6 is still a month away, showrunners Joe Port and Joe Wiseman are about to deliver their second supernatural sitcom for CBS…Eternally Yours actually serves as a bit of a full-circle moment for the showrunner duo. Port and Wiseman initially pitched the vampire series to CBS over 10 years ago, and while the network chose not to move forward with it at the time, that pitch made them the perfect team to bring the U.S. adaptation of Ghosts to life. Flash forward a decade: Ghosts is officially the most-watched sitcom in America, and its immense success on CBS has allowed Port and Wiseman to unearth their 11-year-old pilot and expand their hauntingly hilarious world. Eternally Yours is an ensemble comedy anchored by a central couple and the eccentric group of undead weirdos they’ve turned into their own little family. At the heart of the series are Charles (Ed Weeks) and Liz (Allegra Edwards), a pair of vampires whose marriage has gone cold after 500 years together. A flashback to when Charles and Liz first fell in love provides a stark contrast to their dull and lifeless marriage five centuries later. Weeks and Edwards have great chemistry; rooting for them to remember why they fell in love in the first place is just as much fun as it is to watch them bicker.
Coupla caveats: GHOSTS relies heavily on delayed and streaming viewing to have an edge of roughly 600,000 viewers over G&M based on the new-ish industry standard of MP35–anyone watching anywhere over a five-week span. Not exactly the definition of appointment viewing. That season 6 “premiere”? A pair of two-episode stunts filling the 9-10 PM hour the Thursday before Halloween and two weeks before Christmas Eve. And co-producer Lionsgate already tested GHOSTS’ off-network waters last fall concurrent with their CBS launch and came and went with a whimper. That projected full rollout for this fall? On hold, so they say. That sure doesn’t help their case with the new owners who tomorrow will be unveiling an even more significant premiere week for these times. As VARIETY’s Todd Spengler shared Friday:
The soon-to-merge Paramount-Warner Bros. Discovery officially has a name: It’s simply going to be “Skydance,” according to chairman and CEO David Ellison…The deal forming the new Skydance is set to close Oct. 6, the companies have announced…The company plans to move its Class B Common Stock from Nasdaq to the New York Stock Exchange, where it will begin trading on Oct. 6. The company intends to change the ticker symbol for the stock from “PSKY” to “SKYD.” It also intends to amend its certificate of incorporation to change the company’s name to “Skydance Corporation.”
The CBS name and iconic eye had already become devalued by the previous regime hell-bent on building awareness of and eyeballs to Paramount Plus. Now in the wake of that world being turned over to Casey Bloys and his HBO brethren and the studio brands essentially existing more out of obligation than desire it’s hard to imagine that there’s a chance in he-double-toothpicks that any future premiere week will be given anything more than a passing glimpse in an executive suite that elevated the personal brand of a boutique film company to the umbrella status that’s enjoyed by, say, Meta.
So it’s both timely and a bit ironic that the one truly new series debuting this week (sorry, NCIS fans, I can’t get all that excited about the return of LL Cool J from an NCIS: LOS ANGELES spinoff that had little more rerun success than GHOSTS to yet another procedural set in New York) is a show set in the very city that serves as ground zero for tech bros. As the hype that Gonzales’ team authored on the official CBS site proclaimed:
CUPERTINO is a David vs. Goliath legal drama set in the heart of Silicon Valley that follows a lawyer (Mike Colter) who is being cheated out of his stock options by his former employer, a tech start-up. Refusing to back down, he joins forces with another recently fired attorney (Rachel Keller) to represent those taken advantage of by the tech elite and help them fight back in a high-stakes battle against the Goliaths controlling Silicon Valley.
I’m modestly intrigued in sampling this as a fan of its creators Robert and Michelle King, creative darlings within CBS Studios dating back to their beloved GOOD LIFE which actually won Emmys during its CBS life and gave rise to Carrie Preston’s quirky ELSBETH which will serve as its lead-in–to the extent that still matters in an MP35 world. I do actually fall into the demo that’s most likely to care at all–which by definition won’t carry a lot of weight with anyone named Ellison. Papa isn’t exactly staying home Thursday nights and downing an extra dose of caffeine to stay up late to watch–and, candidly, neither am I. The caffeine part, that is.
I’m at least aware of CUPERTINO’s premiere. So nice work, CBS. But times have changed and apparently so have the expectations surrounding premiere weeks. Enjoy the ride while you still can and check in with me in about five weeks or so for my thoughts.
Until next time…