Try as one might, unless you’re totally off the grid one can’t escape the inexorable grip that one Natalie Harp seems to have on just about anyone capable of offering an opinion. It seems roughly a third of America wants to canonize her, a third wants to condemn her and a third wants to sodomize her. I’m also willing to concede there is a substantial subset that would support at least two of those three simultaneously.
Harp hits all the tickmarks for clickbait. She’s extraordinarily and to some dangerously close to the leader of the free world, and lately we have learned she has been snuck into otherwise off-limits areas of the White House more than Marilyn Monroe may or may not have been. She’s a cancer survivor and a woman of faith who no doubt wakes up every morning with a lot more gratitude and wide-eyed energy than I dare say most of us would even be capable of. And this week she’s more than likely the most Google-searched person in America, if not the world. I plead gulity to adding to that total myself this morning.
Without even to scroll down from a landing page, one finds a dizzying array of juicy revelations. I’ll assume you know the basics of Harp’s connection to the president; if you didn’t, the byline-less “staff of OK” can fill that gap. Amd just about every comedian–heck, even Jimmy Fallon–has roasted her for her willingness to be his de facto personal shield in locales as head-scratching as the cargo area of an SUV or inside an airline catering cart. But wait till you get a load of some of the latest dirt. Per THE DAILY BEAST’s Julia Ornedo:
Donald Trump enlisted the help of his adoring aide to write an angry memo crying fraud in the 2020 election, a new analysis found…Harp, the president’s 35-year-old “human printer,” has been identified as the document author of a 14-page memo that Trump sent to the Jan. 6, 2021, congressional committee after it voted to subpoena him in October 2022. The metadata of the document indicates that it was created on the morning of Oct. 14, 2022, by Harp. The data was first reported by independent journalist Marcy Wheeler and independently verified by the Daily Beast.
Also piling on yesterday were CNN’s Isabelle Chapman and Andrew Kaczynski:
Years before…Harp became a key White House aide to President Donald Trump, she flooded her Twitter feed with posts demonstrating extraordinary devotion to him on January 6, 2021. A CNN review of Harp’s now-removed account on X, previously Twitter, found that Harp posted more than 150 tweets that day, urging Republicans to “FIGHT FOR TRUMP” as he began his speech near the White House. She echoed the president’s talking points that the election was stolen, and amplified rhetoric of his allies, who also sought to undermine the legitimacy of Joe Biden’s election win. Harp’s X account appears suspended. It’s unclear when her account was taken down, and whether she or the platform removed her posts.
Oh, and speaking of CNN, apparently HUFF POST’s tongue-twister talent
Left-leaning commentator Adam Mockler pushed back after a conservative CEO suggested that White House aide Natalie Harp should be the “poster child” for modern-day feminism. “Feminism is not giving away your entire life to write sappy messages saying that you’re sorry 100 times or acting like you have Stockholm syndrome for some reason,” Mockler said, referencing fawning letters Harp allegedly sent to Trump in 2023.
“She doesn’t really do much outside of work. She works constantly for him,” New York Times White House correspondent Maggie Haberman told CNN earlier this week. “That is something that he has a huge amount of value in. I described her the other day as, you know, a binky, for lack of a better way of putting it — a comfort blanket.”
Amy Robbins, however, the CEO of concealed-carry activewear brand Alexo Athletica, told a CNN News Night panel Friday that “everything” Haberman mentioned actually means Harp “should be the poster child for modern-day feminists,” adding that “she’s a hard worker” and is “resourceful.”
And that’s just one-half of one summer weekend’s news cycle.
You may ask where Harp herself is while all of this is occuring. YAHOO! News’ Mija Markovic was all over that like white on rice:
White House aide Natalie Harp was back at President Donald Trump’s side on Aug. 21, boarding Marine One and Air Force One for a trip to South Carolina one day after two intensely personal letters attributed to her were published in full. Harp joined Trump and White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt as the presidential party traveled from Washington to Joint Base Andrews before continuing to Myrtle Beach.
Amazingly, just about anyone with access to a keyboard and capable of composing a sentence is actively connecting dots. The fact that she bears more than a passing resemblance to the daughter he confessed to Dr. Oz he kisses with every chance he gets (and, yeah, I saw the version that didn’t make it to stations; I dare say Mehmet’s decision to edit it out of the final cut is the reason he now holds a cabinet position) has its own sordid timeline. Way more voices on both sides are weighing in on this. Including the latest flavor of the moment for desperate Democrats which those OK bots also regurgitated:
This week, Sen. Jon Ossoff put her name at the center of politics.The Georgia Democrat, who is running for reelection and already drawing 2028 speculation, referenced Trump’s 35-year-old aide during a rally in Atlanta, saying the president “doesn’t want to do the job” and would rather “build his ballroom and travel with Natalie on their apparently defenseless flying palace gifted by the Emir of Qatar.”
About the only one who has yet actually weighed in on any of this is Harp herself. Unless, of course, you subscribe to the theory that she’s ghost-writing for a whole bunch of other Trumpworld sympaticos. Which given her proven talents as a “journalist” and content creator isn’t out of the question.
What has emerged from this tabloidy morass is that she’s apparently been flying under the radar for a while, and she’s hardly the first overly apologetic and reverent syncophant with atypical access to a s(h?)itting president. 
Witness the fact that Paula White-Cain’s office is mere steps from the Oval, a point that is amplified and praised every time I hear the shticky babble of Lance Wallnau, the self-proclaimed prophet who heard the voice of his dying mentor “whisper in his ear” that Trump was indeed a modern day incarnation of Cyrus and conflates selected Biblical passages as evidence. 
Rehashing the same tired story of how what was a chance Trump Tower meeting has now turned into a personal relationship where he now prays in tongues for End Times-predicted outcomes in a manner as zealotic and fawning as anything Harp’s “love” letters professed. Since no one seems to want to stomach the thought of either of them naked dealing with the white bodily fluid the octagenarian trickles from his front or the brown sludge that oozes from his back that has been ascribed to Harp (maybe both, depending where you net out), you’re not hearing much about these “devoted” folks. But trust me, Harp knows them and they know her. And they’re downright thankful for the clicks and in some cases the donations.
And for those who are canonizing Ossoff because of his own ability to turn a phrase I would simply ask–how aware are you of his actual policies and raison d’etre for even being returned to the Senate, let alone the White House? You know, one can Google that just as easily as anything regarding Harp. I did. The print-eschewing remnants of the ATLANTA JOURNAL-CONSTITUTION did just that this past spring. Not bad. More depth and substance than I’ve seen from his fellow Trump tormenter Gavin Newsom. A lot more than I’ve gotten from AOC. Funny how those of you so damn determined to save democracy hadn’t quite gotten around to Ossoff before he speculated on whether Harp can or cannot compare mushroom measurements with Stormy Daniels. Maybe it’s priorities like those that might help to explain why Fat Orange Jesus even got back into the White House in the first place?
My humble suggestion and exhausive conclusion is that unless you’re truly willing to go after every single overly wide-eyed believer who treats a human as if they were an immortal you move on from all things Harp and start paying more attention to things that actually matter to you and your families. Unless she somehow goes full Glenn Close in FATAL ATTRACTION–yet another series of speculative threads I’ve been subjected to–that’s certainly gonna be my mantra moving forward. So goodnight, you dirty-minded devils, because unlike Harp I actually do need some sleep.
Until next time…