I really do try to be empathetic to others’ troubles. More days than not that approach falls into the category of misery loves company, if for no other reason that I’ve learned first hand that practically everyone I even remotely know who is actually succeeding these days is thoroughly unwilling to engage in any “downer” conversations themselves. Somewhat more patient folks will occasionally attempt to justify that behavior by confessing that they are all too aware of how fragile and volatile their good times are in these times, and that any reminder of that tends to be triggering. My knee-jerk reaction to such posturing is typically “poor you”. I’ll admit that’s not one of my better qualities.
So even I don’t personally know any of them, especially lately, I am genuinely sorry for those directly impacted by what NBC NEWS’ Rob Wile reported yesterday:
Spirit Airlines is shutting down, in a move that will affect thousands of scheduled flights and nearly as many employees. The troubled budget carrier cancelled all flights and announced an “orderly wind-down” of operations, effective immediately early Saturday.
Spirit, which has struggled to maintain consistent profitability since the Covid-19 pandemic, had been looking to emerge from its second bankruptcy in less than a year. But those plans were derailed amid soaring jet fuel costs sparked by the outbreak of the war with Iran.
Their hometown SOUTH FLORIDA SUN-SENTINEL deployed no less than three staffers–David Lyons, Shira Moolten and Angie DiMichele–to share even more sobering details:
Spirit’s shutdown immediately ended the jobs of most of the carrier’s 17,000 direct and indirect employees who served the airline in the U.S., Caribbean and Latin America. Some of them worked for Spirit for more than 25 years.
“To our Guests: all flights have been cancelled, and customer service is no longer available,” a message says. “We are proud of the impact of our ultra-low-cost model on the industry over the last 34 years and had hoped to serve our Guests for many years to come.”
The airline’s kiosks displayed a similar message Saturday at the Fort Lauderdale airport, greeting unaware customers who showed up to the largely vacant Terminal 4, where Spirit was the predominant carrier for years.
Talk about triggering. I spent several highly anticipatory days in that terminal when I was on my Leblang Across America tour that celebrated the fact that I finally had the freedom, and at the time the financial resources, to reconnect with friends and family that I had been denied the chance to do so while catering to the immediate and expensive needs that my ex demanded of me, especially in the last decade when my once robust business travel schedule was severly curtailed by more frugal CFOs and changes in my responsibilities. Even when I wasn’t joyously gallabanting around the Sunshine State, Spirit’s quirky routing policies–especially as I sought to optimize its oft-mocked “bare fares” policies and my circadian rhythm by red-eying the hell out of their one-stops–I got to the point where I knew the vendors in that terminal well enough that they remembered my preferences for the New York Daily News and Dunkin Donuts’ Coffee Coolata, two items not readily available to me at home.
I was even willing to defend Spirit in the midst of my learning they were a frequent target of jokes and attempts at comic memes. PUN AND JOKES’ Qaisar Umar devoted an entire 2023 piece to that subject. Among my personal favorites:
- What do you call it when a Spirit Airlines flight arrives on time? A “miracle.”
- Why did the passenger bring a picnic basket on a Spirit Airlines flight? They heard it’s the only way to get a “meal deal.”
- What’s Spirit Airlines’ favorite weather report? “Clear skies, chance of fees”.
- Why don’t passengers on Spirit Airlines flights ever join the mile-high club? They’re too busy calculating fees.
I didn’t say I laughed all that much at any of them, but these were relatively smirk-worthy. Seth Meyers’ humor was much more biting and newsworthy, so much so that THE WRAP’s Andi Ortiz devoted an entire March 2024 piece to one of A CLOSER LOOK segments that have now become as regular for me as a Spirit itinerary once was:
(T)he NBC host expects Trump’s private jet to be among the things he sells — probably to Spirit Airlines…“I guess that means we should look forward to seeing his private jet joining the Spirit Airlines fleet,” Meyers joked. “If you upgrade to Comfort Plus, you get exclusive access to the gold toilet. But just a heads up, it’s not real gold and if you sit on it, your butt will turn green, and there’s no easy way to say this, you might lose the butt.”
I steadfastly stood up for them amidst that relentless mocking, especially when I actually got a shout-out in an episode of his weekly online installent CORRECTIONS, where I correctly pointed out a joke he made about the airline not having non-stop service from LaGuardia Airport to Los Angeles was not true–due to an obscure regulation about what sort of flights can land on weekends vs. weekdays, I actually was flying that very route when I submitted that comment and was proactive enough to provide a screen shot of me with a time stamp. I became an honorary “Jackal”, Meyers’ semi-endearing name for his uberfans that live to point out whenever he slips up during his segments. Between that and my gallabanting on Spirit, I actually felt like a cool kid.
But that all changed when I began to use it for trips to the Pacific Northwest during the waning days of the pandemic, at least in my mind. We were still in a mask-mandate mode in that part of the country, despite the fact that Florida had safely started to resume life weeks earlier–another phenomenon I experienced in person. I was able to gerryrig a visor and larger charcoal-infused mask set up that ensured comfort and my not misplacing it that I frequently wore in my travels. While sitting on the tarmac for two hours on a misty Seattle night waiting to take off I nodded off in my sleep, my mask falling below my mouth in the process. I was jostled awake by an exceptionally haughty flight attendant attending to the utter dismay of a woman seated two rows behind me who was triggered by the site of my lips. She demanded I be removed from the flight as she was convinced I had probably infected her, and Spirit, apparently out of necessity in order to keep servicing Sea-Tac, was co-operating with the airport regulations by invoking a zero-tolerance policy so stringent even involuntary actions were deemed reason enough for removal. I was forced to spend the night at my cost at an airport hotel before Spirit would be able to review my protest–thankfully, an appelate “court” believed that I was a victim of overreaction and they allowed me to return home later that morning. But I never did get reimbursed for that dingy hotel room which indeed I could have caught COVID from. No matter what one may think about my oft-times dismissive attitude toward all things pandemic I also don’t have a death wish. And I REALLY don’t like being removed in handcuffs from an airplane just for falling asleep.
So yeah, I feel terrible for the folks now seeking pptimal employment in this kind of economy, because I know now we have more in common that we ever did. But I just can’t cry for Spirit Airlines itself. Karma, bee-yatch.
Until next time…