As I so often do in these musings, I confess that I have more than a few guilty pleasures when it comes to everything from media to cuisine. In the immortal words of the esteemed Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy, “I’m a man, I’m 40”. Well, way more than that these days.
And I’ll freely admit that at the top of the list are the works of Seth MacFarlane. I actually got to meet him during his salad days at Hanna-Barbera when he was a young, aspiring writer on some of Cartoon Network’s earliest cult hits such as JOHNNY BRAVO and COW AND CHICKEN, and we somehow connected when an executive who knew my own quirks dared me to challenge him with what he thought to be my eidetic knowledge of FLINTSTONES trivia. Me being the arrogant Boomer that I was, I thought this barely out of college whippersnapper was easy pickings. When he broke into song with a flawless and perfectly worded version of HAPPY ANNIVERSARY (set to the tune of THE WILLIAM TELL OVERTURE) I knew this was no ordinary Xer. Years later, at a Golden Globes party where he was holding court in the wake of FAMILY GUY’s successful resurrection by FOX, I reminded him of that prior encounter while I complimented his extremely detail-oriented blackout send up of a $25,000 PYRAMID winner’s circle that somehow became a backdrop to couples therapy. To his credit, he pretended to remember. At least my date was impressed.
So when both of us had moved on from FOX I somehow felt enough of a connection to at least sample each of his works, and that included his breakout movie TED. Sure, it literally was Peter Griffin’s voice in the form of a foul-mouthed perpetually adolescent stuffed bear, and it included just about every stereotype of blue collar New Englanders that his signature animated series had lived on for years. Bringing Mark Wahlberg along for this silly ride was both ridiculous and apropos at once. On the surface, Ted had virtually no morally upstanding qualities–pure id and ick. But his endearing loyalty to his now adult owner somehow stood out amidst the barrage of WTF quips and sight gags best appreciated by a 16-year-old nerd/punk. I certainly wasn’t one myself, but I somehow envied those that were.
Hence when the TV version that reset the concept as an origin story that revolved around an actual 16-year-old punk I was all in. Launching it in the aftermath of Peacock’s first NFL playoff game two Januarys ago was a downright brilliant algorithming strategy. I both binge and cringe-watched the full seven episode season in one night, taking full note of the multiple homages the show paid to various TV comedies of the past. The overall premise is taken straight from the playbook of ALF–wisecracking animatronic lead, overly loyal nerdy boy teen, well-intentioned but clearly overmatched parents. Those parents are clearly inspired by Archie and Edith Bunker, if Archie was somehow transplanted from Queens to Framingham and Edith had a libido. Throw in the cool, hot, sisterly presence everything from the FRESH PRINCE OF BEL AIR to the Netflix version of ONE DAY AT A TIME to MacFarlane’s own AMERICAN DAD tossed in for both moral compass and appeal to other 16-year-old nerdpunks. It was TV fast food, only it didn’t hurt my sensitive stomach.
But the run-it-back eight episodes of TED S2 that dropped this past week were distinctly less inspired, far more uneven and frankly nowhere near as enjoyable. The fact that Peacock, not exactly brimming with original scripted successes of late, chose to drop them in a completely different month than the much-ballyhooed Legendary February that provided them with record audiences should have been a sign that this may not have been quite the guilty pleasure that S1 was. And judging by what MacFarlane and even his co-stars who have far less FU money chose to share while promoting them, it would seem that they sort of knew it, too.
As he confessed to THE HOLLYWOOD REPORTER’s Ryan Gajewski:
“Look, the show did really well, but it’s super expensive. We want more, but it’s really expensive.” (Laughs.) That’s the message that trickled down to me through the ranks. There has yet to be a method that we have discovered to make the creation of Ted, as a character, any cheaper than it is. It’s still the same way we did the CGI when the first and second movies came out. Nothing has really changed.
Which makes his follow-up admission all the less surprising:
I’ve heard nothing about season three, which is good because Ian McKellen has that little speech at the end of the last episode. It has Max walking into a gym, presumably walking out as Mark Wahlberg in the first movie. The book is sort of closed by the end of that episode, so we will see. There’s always things that can happen and ways you find your way back in. But as of now, I’ve heard nothing.
And that seeming concession of imminent demise was all but confirmed by what TECH RADAR’s Jasmine Valentine dropped yesterday:
After speaking to star Alanna Ubach…I’m even less certain that we’ll ever see my favorite sitcom family ever again. “Jasmine Valentine… if [Ted season 3] happens, you will be the first to know,” Ubach laughs. “I’m just along for the ride.” Normally, I’d chalk this kind of response up to a typically evasive media answer, but Ubach is so warm, funny and open to talk to that I genuinely think she doesn’t have a clue what’s coming next for the show. What is clear is how much she loves the job, and I’m pretty sure she’d be playing Susan until she was 87 if given the chance.
Alas, what she got to do at a far younger age all but assures she won’t have it. What I endured was a hodgepodge of riffs on pop culture touchstones from THE GRADUATE to DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS that somehow were determined to have “very special episode” etched in them. There’s an episode involving abortion access. Moral compass Blaire’s tearful breakup with her girlfriend triggers a chain reaction of events that eventually reignite whatever dedication and passion exists with the parents. One can argue that as a comedy evolves such evolutions are necessary plot points to invest viewers in characters and storylines. If indeed this was a Norman Lear work, and not MacFarlane’s homage to it, that might have been a plausible defense. But when someone like MacFarlane has built one’s immense creative and financial success on sophomoric–nay, freshmanic–toilet humor and exaggerated satire being spoon-fed this sort of high-fiber diet seems all the more inappropriate and disingenous.
I never go to a fast food joint for a quality meal (and arguably now shouldn’t at all). I don’t go to something like TED for introspection and pause. There are a few moments in S2 that do deliver–the silliness of the opening episode involving John and Ted’s discovery of the wonderful world of phone sex is worth a watch. But beyond that the balance, much like a side of fries with your McChicken, is better off left on the plate. And unless I miss my guess, there probably won’t be another helping forthcoming.
But we’ll always have this:
So thanks yet again, Seth.
Until next time…