Unless you’ve been living under a rock you’re probably already aware of the latest clickbaitable meme that has practically everyone in at least my social media feeds up in arms–yeah, the one that puts THE LION SLEEPS TONIGHT into perhaps the most unfortunate spotlight since THE TRACEY ULLMAN SHOW used it as fodder for a sketch that ultimately involved a New York City bus driving onto a 20th Century FOX soundstage to splash a group of impatient commuters that took until 4 AM to finish. I was in the wings that very night watching it come together, watching and hearing the escalating argument between creative and financial executives who in real time were realizing how astronomically over budget this effort was becoming and beginning to fear that someone from either side was soon going to pull out a firearm.
No, I’m not going to repost it; I’m not THAT unfeeling or crass. I’m also fairly certain you’ve already seen how our appropriately monickered House Minority Leader has been taking it, and the tone-deaf reaction from the alleged perpetrator to it. Suffice to say even as juvenile satire I’ve seen better efforts and as slurs go I’ve seen and even endured worse. I may not be black but I am statistically morbidly obese–a lot more so as a child and still a veritable twig compared to my five foot square mama. We both “enjoyed” seeing our faces superimposed over a herd of elephants in a cartoon that a particularly cruel yet talented tormentor of mine happened to leave in my Hebrew school cubby hole on at least one traumatic occasions. So please don’t try and tell me I can’t possibly understand what so many of those who are amplifying Jeffries’ and others’ consternations and demands for apologies are feeling. And yes, I find it unforgivably deplorable that several folks I follow–including at least two black people–are in goosestep with America’s favorite five-year-old’s “defense”.
But in the immortal words of my alcoholic uncle who would barge into to my great-grandmother’s kitchen after I’d get into a shouting match with my mom who was relating every sordid detail of what we saw to my otherwise indifferent relatives and prematurely woke him as he was trying to sleep off the aftereffects of a “fishing trip” that inevitably had him being bailed out after being charged with public intoxication and solicitation–SHADDUP ALL OF YOUZE!!!
Sorry, Tim Scott et al, I’m not buying for a second your degree of overreaction. And no, Karoline Leavitt and your crucifix-cum-sex-toy necklace, I’m not gonna give your “defense” any more oxygen than it apparently already has amidst your fellow senior citizen knob-polishers. I’m more in line with the nuanced reaction of THE NEW REPUBLIC’s Malcolm Ferguson that he shared on Friday:
The current president of the United States—who spent years falsely claiming the first Black president was not an American—posted a clip that is so absurdly, undeniably racist that it really doesn’t matter what’s in the rest of the clip. The outrage isn’t fake; Trump has just done so many casually reprehensible things that this is just another day for him.
If I sound a little more POd than usual, it’s because yet again the folks that continue to wail and lament that democracy is dying have been duped by the deliberate distraction tactics that those puppeting the moron-in-chief consistently employ to take the news cycle away from more consequential events that are actually impacting it one way or another. Such as Tulsi Gabbard’s naked ambition for relevance in his harem by cosplaying a Carmen San Diego villain in the bloodthirsty quest for 11,781 “vahtes”. Let alone those precious files that have reminded us that the current leader of the free world was nearly emasculated by an overzealous 13-year-old with sharp teeth and specifically requested those that would have the opportunity to go on a searching party to find it not be–ahem–“boogers”. Funny how we’re not talking about either of those topics now, eh?
More importantly, we’re still not talking about viable, electable alternatives to this legion of dumb. Last month I tried to light such a fire under at least some of you with a musing about one James Talarico, a theretofore relatively obscure Texas state representative. Well, he’s apparently nowgone mainstream enough to be a significant pebble in the shoes of the gargoyles at the gates, as THE NEW YORK POST’s Geoff Earle chided yesterday:
“The View” is facing a federal probe for allegedly violating “equal time” rules for political candidates after an interview with Texas Democrat James Talarico. The Federal Communications Commission investigation comes weeks after the agency announced new guidance on the “statutory equal opportunities requirement” grounded in the New Deal-era Communications Act of 1934, saying it would apply to “late night and daytime talk shows.” The probe, first reported by Fox News Digital, was sparked by Talarico’s Monday appearance on the show, a source told the outlet. Talarico is battling Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-Texas) in an increasingly angry primary race for US Senate, while several Republicans are duking it out for the same seat.
And why this is now attracting national attention–aside from the fact that he’s daring to challenge the already outsized popularity of the media-savvy Crockett–is that this is now occurring as even even-handed publications such as USA TODAY are reporting on a relative revolution brewing elsewhere in the Lone Star State. Few of y’all bothered to retweet or retruth what Kate Perez penned last Sunday:
Democrat Taylor Rehmet won a special election for the Texas state Senate on Jan. 31, flipping a district blue that President Donald Trump won by 17 percentage points in the 2024 presidential election against Kamala Harris. Rehmet, a veteran and labor union leader, defeated Republican activist and entrepreneur Leigh Wambsganss to represent Texas’ 9th Senate district, located in the Fort Worth area. Trump had backed Wambsganss in the race, urging voters in the district in a post on Truth Social to “GET OUT AND VOTE for a phenomenal Candidate.”r union leader, defeated Republican activist and entrepreneur Leigh Wambsganss to represent Texas’ 9th Senate district, located in the Fort Worth area.
And even fewer folk bothered to repurpose this little nugget which puppy dog Brian Tyler Cohen shared last night: 
Grudging kudos to the Facebook-obsessed cheesehead JOURNALIST (her insistent definition, not mine) Christina Lorey for finding the time to find this amidst her otherwise hourly rants about anything and everything being spewed out of the pieholes of our current administration. Yes, she’s as wordy and nerdy and inflammatory as so many others who do little more than rant and bitch and demand apologies that will never happen are, but at least she occasionally drops something or someone novel into the discourse.
So what’s YOUR excuse?
Is Taylor Rehmet or Chasity Martinez yet capable of even rising to Talarico’s level, let alone someone who could give a MAGAot a run for their money? Probably not. But do tell me where in the national zeitgeist Bill Clinton was in early 1990, or Barack Obama in early 2006? We should at least know that people like Rehmet and Martinez, let alone Talarico, exist. At least long enough for them and those that support their ilk to get out ahead of the far more organized, focused and yes, politically savvy evil genuises who have successfully reclaimed ‘Merica at their own and literally will die on a bigger cross than Leavitt’s to keep it that way.
The clock continues to tick and the tension only seems to escalate day by day and yet so many who claim to want to recapture normalcy are far more focused on yelling at clouds than educating and reassuring that, in the words of someone who is obvs not an ape, we should “keep hope alive”. Maybe instead of posting pictures of how lovey-dovey he and his spouse are you might want to think a picture of two about someone in your world–a school board candidate or even a local news personality would be a start–that we haven’t already seen in a 15-year-old PEOPLE pictorial?
I’ve now given you three names to Google while the overwhelming majority of you are still at zilch. Once again, I’ll remind you I’ve done my part. The ball’s back in your court, Nero. Drop the damn violin and start dribbling. Otherwise the world’s smallest will continue to play for you.
Until next time…