Yeah, it’s a slow movie weekend. Unless you’re a fan of documentaries, there’s scant little out there for you to even consider dropping in on–assuming, of course, you’ve dug yourself out of snowdrifts and haven’t succumbed to a raging flu.
There’s one about Paris Hilton called INFINITE ICON: A VISUAL MEMOIR–pretty much a straightforward retelling of a career that was kickstarted by the release of revenge porn that seemed to evoke sympathy and a few other base emotions about a titillating nepobaby who turned the catch phrase “that’s hot” into a personal brand. There’s Charli XCX’s homage to SPINAL TAP, THE MOMENT, that’s being released to theaters mere days after a buzzy and mixed premiere at #TheLastSundance.
And, oh yeah, there’s one more. The KANSAS CITY STAR’s Lisa Gutierrez dropped one of the few stories we could find that wasn’t tilted in one direction or the other yesterday:
“Melania,” follows First Lady Melania Trump in the 20 days leading up to her husband’s second inauguration in 2025, inarguably a rare, behind-the-scenes look at a first lady known as a private person. “Here we go again,” Trump says to the camera as she enters the ceremony on the arms of a camera-perfect military escort, her eyes hidden under the wide brim of that black-and-white Eric Javits hat that went viral.
Unless you’ve already sworn off social media you probably know that just about everyone with the capacity to produce an opinion already has one despite the fact a scant few have actually seen much more than the sizzle piece that Amazon MGM Studios supplied that hasn’t quite broken through as a must-see in its own right. Even sites usually more supportive to all things Trump have had difficulty finding positive things to report on so far. Here’s the lament that Riya Siddhacharjee authored yesterday:
Melania Trump’s newly released documentary is facing a wave of backlash on social media. Audiences, especially on Letterboxd, don’t seem impressed, with many leaving negative reviews without even watching the film. So far, ‘Melania’ has received over 100 reviews and currently holds a rating of 2.5 out of 5 stars. The documentary will hit select theaters on Friday.
One user said, “This is like one of the top 3 contenders for worst movie of all time, and it’s not 3 or 2.” Another wrote, “Didn’t watch this film, don’t plan to, but I’d like to request the person responsible for the fake poster on the film’s main page change it to the actual one or at least not be a hypocrite.”
But in the spirit of Tik Tok and the Epstein files, as MOTHER JONES’ James West reported earlier this week, somehow those reviews have vanished into witness protection programs:
Even before the movie’s release this Friday, it has become a lightning rod for anger, not least because Melania Trump’s oligarchic private premiere gala at the White House came the same day Alex Pretti was shot dead in the streets of Minneapolis amid her husband’s disastrous siege of the city. A real let-them-eat-cake moment. But as my colleague Arianna Coghill went to promote the story today on our social media channels, she discovered the reviews have been wiped from the site entirely.
And speaking of the Epstein Files, the B story in this drama has a direct link, as USA TODAY’s Brian Truitt. Patrick Ryan and Francesca Chambers ganged up to report on yesterday:
The first lady is the star of the Melania Trump documentary, but all eyes in Hollywood are on who’s seated in the director’s chair. Brett Ratner, once one of the film industry’s hottest names, hasn’t made a movie since 2014’s “Hercules” after six women, including actresses Olivia Munn and Natasha Henstridge, accused Ratner of sexual harassment in a Los Angeles Times report. Ratner, 56, made $40.9 million with his 1997 debut, the Chris Tucker/Charlie Sheen comedy “Money Talks.” But his career really took off with the massively popular “Rush Hour” trilogy starring Tucker and Jackie Chan.
In December, Ratner popped up in a photo from a batch of Jeffrey Epstein files released by the Justice Department, which also included images of prominent names such as Tucker, President Trump, former President Bill Clinton, Mick Jagger, Michael Jackson and Diana Ross. Ratner is shown posing in an undated photo with a shirtless Jean-Luc Brunel, a French modeling agent and longtime Epstein associate. In 2022, Brunel died by suicide in his jail cell while facing charges in France of raping a minor and supplying minors to the disgraced financier.
I’ll let you connect the dots between why and how the Rush Hour franchise is somehow being reignited by Paramount under Skydance management, with America’s leading expert on movie-making and marketing cheering it on. And in the same light as hyping steaks through the Sharper Image he’s even amplifying the impressive $35 million spend Amazon MGM is putting behind this otherwise modest $40 million work. Not that the investment is immediately bearing fruit, as Gutierrez further noted:
“MELANIA, the Movie, is a MUST WATCH,” the president exclaimed Monday in a post on X. “Get your tickets today – Selling out, FAST!” However, early reports suggest that pre-sales of tickets are sluggish as the documentary prepares to open in nearly 1,800 theaters nationwide.
RAW STORY’s Travis Gettys noted that unlike some other recent releases that have made up domestic shortfalls those odds don’t seem all that great, either:
(A)ccording to Vue chief executive Tim Richards, UK ticket sales are “soft,” and the film – for which Amazon MGM Studios paid a reported $40 million – is projected to make just $5 million during its opening weekend, and trade publication Boxoffice Pro projects less than half that haul.
“I’d be amazed if box office gets reported on this title,” one industry insider told The Mirror, adding that the film’s distributors might be paying a fee to cinemas to screen the movie, an established practice known as “four-walling.”
And as you can see, stateside even audiences are being grifted for their troubles: To be sure, I’ve paid audiences more to see films I’ve tested in theaters, and I even allowed them to pee if needed.
It’s pretty damn clear an awful lot of people are hell-bent on willing this work into history as one of the greatest flops of all time. But be aware that we’ve all seen at least one precedent that such an approach can actually backfire. And anyone familiar with Mel Brooks (in the wake of last week’s musing about his own recently dropped doc you should be one of them) should recognize that similar seeds are growing in this garden of opportunity as well.
For one, Gutierrez notes that her landlocked market is somehow showing some signs of interest:
A check of about a half dozen theaters in all corners of the Kansas City metro — Kansas and Missouri sides — on Thursday morning found that ticket sales are strong for matinee showings Friday but sluggish for evening shows. AMC theaters are offering 20% off matinee tickets. At AMC Town Center 20 in Leawood, for instance, where the movie is being shown in a smaller, 34-seat theater, four showings on Friday, from the 12:45 p.m. matinee to the 9 p.m. late showing, were nearly sold out. At the B&B Lee’s Summit 16, both shows at 1:40 p.m. and 6:40 p.m. Friday are close to selling out, but almost all the tickets for the 9:10 screening are still available.
Now add to that the fact that today has been designated as a day of “no work, no school, no shopping” by many of the same activist organizations that have been hell-bent on exercising their constitutional rights through pep rallies–er, peaceful protests–pretty much since when MELANIA left off. Talk about bad timing. They’ve created a golden opportunity for people regardless of ideology to take a snow or sick day since their ability to do regular business has been compromised, and no one said anything about “no movie-going”.
And that’s left open the very same door that Max Bialystock and Leo Bloom did by having an audience actually watch their SPRINGTIME FOR HITLER farce, prematurely leaving the theater at intermission smug and satisfied that had succeeded in creating the ultimate sure-fire flop, only to see the reaction turn from revulsion to hilarity after it was acknowledged that it was pure farce and satire. There’s more than enough that’s even been teased in the trailer to suggest that the same possibility exists here–especially in places like Kansas City and Boston.
Rest assured I won’t be going–no one is offering me enough incentive and I still haven’t seen MARTY SUPREME. But I’m not completely dismissing the possibility that enough hate-watching and blind support will somehow exceed the minimal expectations that are being set.
And who knows? Maybe Ratner might have thrown in a Busby Berkeley number with dancers aligning in the shape of a designer hat? Or could be inspired to in a sequel?
I may not be rooting for that outcome. But please don’t say we haven’t been warned.
Until next time…